Should've Been Born Irken
by Usuratonkatchi
Summary: Dib and Zim get into trouble again but what will happen when it involves the armada? A travel into space will teach Dib far more than he ever wanted to know. ZaDr, RaPr, and other minor pairings.
1. First Transmission

_Disclaimer: This story has been co-written with Cupidity11 and was first posted on my deviantart account under the username Emilychan. We don't own Invader Zim but the plot and ideas are ours._

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><p><em>"My Tallest...there's an alien child, with a big head on the communication's screen!" Yelled one of the smaller Irkens who manned the control room of the Massive. Red's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Really?" He thought for a moment about just ignoring the call but things were slow and he was bored. Bad things happened when Red was bored. "Alright. I'll talk to the child." He walked over to the screen and looked at the human. "What is it you want, you short ugly thing?" He asked, mind wandering to where his lover was. Where was Purple?<em>

_Dib was sitting in his room in front of all of his computers and various things he'd stolen from Zim's base. He was hacking the alien's computer at the moment to get this video feed through. "I'm not ugly...and I'm taller than Zim!" Dib grumbled and looked away self-consciously before glaring. "I want to know more about your kind." In the middle of Dib talking, Purple walked up to the monitor, "His head is huge Red." The Tallest pointed. "I don't think that's normal." He leaned on Red lazily from boredom._

_Red wrapped his arm, casually, around his co-tallest. "Yes." His eyes narrowed on the human smeet. "You are taller than Zim, but isn't that hard to do." Red grinned down at Pur, happy he was there._

_Dib crossed his arms in what could only be considered a pout, though he would have denied it. "This isn't the point. I want information on Zim so I can stop him from taking over my planet. He can't have it." Purple didn't reciprocate. He didn't like being watched and the alien was creepy looking._

_"Be silent you ugly human." Red commanded. He WAS quite bored, and this child was obviously an enemy of Zim. Red looked over the boy, gauging him as no threat. He could be entertaining. "Alright, human child. Ask your questions." He said, hand lightly stroking Pur's left antennae._

_Dib's eyes widened. He really hadn't thought it would be this easy. Either they were as stupid as Zim or didn't consider him a threat, the latter made him scowl. "Weaknesses, body make up, weapons, what that 'Pak' thing is, anything you're willing to say actually." Purple leaned more heavily on Red and clinked a finger on Red's armor in time with the strokes._

_Red grinned at the child, so naive. "Alright. Weaknesses..."He tapped his chin. "The antennae. Just stroke one the right way and..." he stroked Pur's appendage in just the spot he knew he liked, to show the human what could be done to any self respecting Irken._

_Purple's eyes slid closed as he purred happily before realizing what was happening. He swatted at Red's hand childishly with a whine. "Don't use me as an example...!" Dib tilted his head. "What are they for?"_

_Red smirked and kissed Pur's hand in apology, before looking back at Dib. "Sensing. We can hear with them, smell, feel and even see if absolutely necessary."_

_Purple still didn't seem happy but accepted it for the moment. Dib had a keyboard in his lap and was typing the information into another computer. "What about the 'Pak'?"_

_Red didn't want Purple mad at him, so he whispered a small apology into his antennae. " A Pak...is like a life source. Get rid of that and the Irken has 10 minutes to live. It is our personality, our occupation, thoughts, memories...it controls your body functions and warns you of danger. It is the ultimate weakness."_

_Purple waved him off. "I'm getting snacks." He walked off screen. Dib continued typing as he listened attentatively. "I think you made him mad. And it's not that I don't appreciate the free information but you do realize I'm trying to destroy Zim and you're kind, right?"_

_Red sighed, watching Purple walk away. He shrugged, knowing he never could stay mad at him for long. At the child's words Red laughed. "Oh. I wish you luck on destroying Zim. We've been trying for years. There's no getting rid of that annoying, defect. That's why he's there. And you will never get the chance to destroy us, you stupid human. You're too short to do so."_

_Dib glared. "Height doesn't mean everything. I'm more capable than you think." He paused, going over Red's words in his head. "Wait, defect? What do you mean that's why he's here? I thought he was trying to take over earth to make some stupid parking lot or snack filled planet for you."_

_"Yeah whatever. Height is the only thing that gets you anywhere." Red sat in his 'throne' wondering if Pur would go to their room to avoid him or come back here. "Yes, a Defect. Zim is one of the worst. And that whole taking over you're stupid little planet was a lie." He sipped at an Irken soda. "Do you really think we would want your puny, pitiful planet for anything other than kindling?"_

_"On my planet there's plenty of people as tall as you or taller." He leaned back in his chair. Sure Zim was a little off, most noticeable when he screamed in third person, but calling him a defect was pretty harsh. "So what, he was bugging you so you dumped him here? And our planet isn't worthless."_

_Red sneered, "Bugging us? That's the biggest understatement I've ever heard in my entire long life." He got more comfortable in his throne, trying to calm himself down. "That Defect is a menace to our society. Dangerous and lethal in ways no one should ever be. He's ignorant and arrogant." Red hated that he felt fear around the smaller Irken. But, who could blame him? The idiot was a Tallest Killer. "Besides, he is happy on your stupid planet, thinking he is doing something important and worthwhile. Why do you care...?" He thought for a moment. "What is your name human-smeet?"_

_"I'm guessing you live a long time?" Dib frowned. He had a good point. Zim's plans always went wrong or exploded and Gir wasn't much help. Gir was probably a defect too, poor thing. When it wasn't annoying him he felt bad for it since Zim was so harsh with him. "Maybe he just needed more training." Dib shrugged, surprised how easily the conversation continued considering what they were to each other. "I wouldn't call it happy. Though I don't think anyone can tell what he's thinking or wants to know." He sighed and straightened a bit in his chair. "I'm Dib. And I'm not a baby."_

_"Heh. You knew what I said. Impressive. Yes, I live long. I am around 200 in your human years." Red ate a few pretzels and chewed before continuing. "Zim had the same amount of training as all of the other Invaders of his time. We even went to the Academy together. But, you see, DIB," he emphasized the name. "He's always been like this. Even as a smeet."_

_"I told you I know more than you think. I also know your language and your programming." Dib smiled, quite proud to be able to gloat. "How long do you live then?" He watched the monitor; eyes following Purple go in and out of the screen once in awhile though Red didn't seem to notice. "Then he's unique. Defective seems harsh, even for him." The emphasis annoyed him, Zim did that too. "Do you have a name other than 'Tallest'? Because there's no chance of me calling you that as if you were my leader."_

_Hmm...The human was interesting indeed. Red decided to test him by talking in Irken for the rest of their conversation. "We can live for a very, very long time. No one knows exactly how long because Irken's either die young in battle or grow old. There are some ancient ones that are over three thousand years in age." He sipped his drink, and sighed missing Purple not that he would ever admit it. "He is NOT unique. He's killed two Tallest, blacked out our entire planet twice, and almost destroyed our race by stealing a Megadoomer without permission during OPID 1 even after he was specifically told to not move from his spot. He is destruction and he loves every minute of it. Everyone hates him for it. They were relived when we sent him on his 'mission'." he moved his two claws in quotation marks "Yes. I have a name. It is Red. But, if you call me just by that I will dismember you. Only Purple calls me by just Red. You may call me SIR, or Tallest Red."_

_Well that was definitely interesting. No wonder Zim hadn't gotten as tall as the Tallest or changed much since he'd been on Earth. He was a bit slow in responding since he'd never spoken in Irken, even with Zim, but he still said everything correctly. "That's still considered unique. And even though there's a bunch of stuff he did wrong why didn't you just lock him up or put him in a mental ward? Or if you don't have those things that would make sense but a race based on taking over planets and killing should have a prison. Why is Zim here instead of being dead?" Dib got a mental image of Zim running around with a giant weapon and killing the Tallest before being thrown into a cell. It was a good image, too bad he didn't have something to keep Zim locked up with. If he did, it would have been used long ago. "No one likes him at all? You probably don't get too attached to each other though since you're so busy killing off planets." Dib frowned. "That doesn't seem fair. If you can call me Dib, I can call you by your name. And last time I checked you can't dismember me through a screen."_

_Red sighed, realizing how naive the child was even if he was fluent in Irken which impressed him. "There is no real prison for Defects. All we can do is change their status. He was an Invader but after the whole destroying his race thing, The Control Brain reprogrammed his Pak to be in fast food service. He was banished to Foot Courtia for quite a while...then he escaped." Red glared, gnashing his teeth, remembering that horrible day. "We decided that the easiest and only way of getting rid of him would be to give in and send the annoying pest on a 'secret mission.'" Red thought it was quite interesting how their conversation continued. They each talked about numerous subjects at once. "You aren't royalty. Do you wish me to call you Human Dib, or Alien Dib? Because I will. And..."Red laughed menacingly. "I CAN dismember you through your screen. We have tools made especially for doing so." He sat back and wondered what the human was planning to do about Zim. He seemed semi intelligent even if he was short. The Tallest looked over at the matching purple, velvet throne next to his red one. Red wished that Purple would come back. He missed him. "Are you quite done asking questions or do you still have a million of them?"_

_That surprised Dib. With a race like there's it seemed obvious that they'd have prisons and torture buildings or something to that effect. It seemed weird that a 'defect' as destructive as Zim was dealt with so gently. Food Courtia rung a bell though. During one of his fights with Zim he had been complaining about a Sizz-Lorr person and being in a fat suit filled with hot oil. The story just had him laughing and making fun of the alien for a few days before it got old and he forgot about it. "He escaped twice actually." Dib smiled for knowing so much. "Maybe your planet needs some defenses. Zim hacks in easily enough. We fought for control of your ship for over an hour." He missed that. It was like a video game but better. "Who cares if I'm royalty? You're still talking to me like an equal so I'd prefer calling you by your name." Dib raised a brow, he was more intrigued than frightened by the statement. "Really?" He watched Red's gaze and laughed lightly. "I have plenty of questions but if you're busy I can call another time. I got a lot to work with already. Zim won't know what hit him."_

_Red grinded his teeth, having the child state the obvious didn't help. "There were defenses in place. The first was a mishap. The second was because Sizz-Lorr is a moron." Another thing the human said echoed in his head. "Wait... you fought over our ship?" He laughed. "I was wondering. I remembered Zim's driving as horrible but, I hadn't thought it was that bad. And secondly, you are not an equal. You are merely entertaining." Red waved his hand in the air uncaringly. "Do what you wish. Call or not call. Leave or not leave. It does not matter to me." Even as he spoke with the boy, his mind was on Purple. How infuriating that man was..._

_"Uh huh. That's just an excuse. And if Sizz-Lorr is a moron you shouldn't have left Zim with him in the first place." Dib put the keyboard down and stretched. "Trust me, it's that bad. He tried to get me off his trail by driving Mars into the Asteroid Belt. I've never been in space but even I know that's stupid. I didn't say equal. But I'm glad to be entertaining." He said sarcastically. "Oh really? If I can do what I wish then I'm calling you Red." Dib grinned. "Oh and it's obvious you're having withdrawal from Purple but he's been walking around behind you the whole time." Purple sighed. "Why did you tell him?"_

_Red laughed, and stood up floating towards Purple. "I'm sorry, Smeets, for using you as an example. You're just so adorable." He grinned in the way that he knew his co-tallest couldn't resist._

_Purple sighed. "You're cheating. Idiot." He pulled on Red's antennae gently. "Two can play at that game Red."_

_Red groaned and leered at Purple. Then he remembered Dib. "Oh yeah. Call back some other time, human. Good luck with the whole destroying thing." He waved the human off as he couldn't take his eyes off Pur. "Don't call me an idiot, idiot."_

_"I know you are but that am I?" Purple grinned. Dib sighed, "Alright. Have fun with the...whatever it is you're doing." He cut the video feed._

_Red smiled and they continued doing "whatever it was they were doing."_

_Dib went to Skool and sat in his desk. He ignored Zim and watched the clock, waiting for class to end so he could test what Red had told him._

_Zim watched the human suspiciously, wondering what he had up his disgusting sleeve. After all the Dib-Monkey never usually ignored him. He was loud, obnoxious and insane. What was wrong with him? Zim took a piece of paper that was supposed to be his math homework, balled it into a sharp ball of doom and flung it with perfect precision at the big head that belonged to his mortal enemy._

_Dib flinched when it hit him. He was paying so much attention to the clock that he hadn't noticed it coming. Picking the paper up he looked at it to notice the math homework and rolled his eyes, Zim was so stupid. He left the paper on his desk and went back to the clock._

_Zim glared as the human practically ignored his ball. He growled and balled up a second piece of paper that was his neighbor's math homework and once again shot it at Dib's big, slimy, oily, corn filled head._

_Dib sighed. "I'm busy willing the clock to move faster you idiot."_

_Zim raised an "eyebrow". "Why? What does the clock have that's so interesting?" he stared at it as well but, all he saw was numbers._

_Dib resisted the urge to smack his forehead. Stupid alien and his stupidness. "I'm waiting for class to be over."_

_Zim sighed at Dib and his insanity. "Why, Dib-monkey? Avoiding being beat up by Zita and her gang again?" Zim smirked evilly, trying to get on Dib's nerve._

_"Oh you'll see. Or feel." Dib grinned. He was definitely going to have fun with this if Zim's reaction was anything like Purple's._

_Zim glared and shifted uneasily. He kicked the human for good measure just as the bell rang signaling the end of the long, horridly boring day. Ms. Bitters said the magic words "go home now," and the children ran screaming in glee out doors, windows, airs vents etc. in a rush to escape. Zim stood dignified and strutted out of the room, ignoring everyone else. Outside he stood on the curb, waiting for stupid cars to pass already._

_Dib frowned when he felt the kick. He walked out of the classroom behind the masses. Dib walked up behind Zim and poked his arm. "You don't mind me following you home, right?"_

_Zim pushed Dib away. "Don't poke me, meat beast." He turned away and started walking across the cross walk. "Don't you follow me home most days anyway, hiding in bushes or behind mail boxes?"_

_Dib shrugged, in too good of a mood to be annoyed. "I can poke you if I want. And I don't feel like hiding today."_

_Zim stared suspiciously at the Dib who walked on beside him casually and without fear. Too weird. Zim wanted to punch the human when he began to whistle. Zim sighed and walked faster, hoping he could loose the boy, if he went fast enough._

_Dib just smiled and sped up his pace as well. "You know Zim; you can't lose me on foot because my legs are longer." Aka, you're short. When the reached Zim's house Dib walked up to the door behind Zim so the gnomes wouldn't wake up._

_"Why are you walking home with me, Dib-Stink?"_

_"Because I have something I want to show you."_

_Zim growled and walked up to the front of his home. The lawn gnomes stared with blank eyes as the boys passed. With a flick of his wrist the front door opened._

_Dib followed Zim in and watched Gir rolling around on the floor screaming about pigs and tacos, nothing unusual._

_Zim strode over casually to the SIR unit, before kicking the robot flying across the room. "Gir! Go...do something important!" he commanded._

_Dib frowned. "Stop being so horrible to him. Ever heard of Karma? It's going to come after you one of these days."_

_"Silence, human! I can do whatever I wish to that horrible robot. It's mine after all. It feels no pain, anyway." He strutted into his living room and into the kitchen's elevator that led to his lab. He stared at Dib. "Are you coming?"_

_Dib sighed and sent a glance Gir's way. "Just because he doesn't feel pain isn't an excuse to hurt him." He looked up and realized Zim was talking to him. "Yeah, coming." Dib went over to the elevator. "I'm surprised you're inviting me in."_

_Zim grumbled, "Well, if you're going to show me something might as well get it over with so I can kick you out and continue trying to destroy your planet."_

_"It's just weird to see you acting civil." Dib shrugged, waiting for the elevator to let them out at the lab._

_Zim waited until Dib was inside before shoving him. "There was that civil-less enough for you?" The elevator took them down._

_Dib glared and shoved him back. "It was a compliment stupid."_

_Zim stumbled and hissed. "Don't call me stupid, you MORON!"_

_Dib grinned. "Should I call you short instead?"_

_That pissed Zim of even more. "If you do that, I'll call your head big!"_

_"Poor Zim is mad. Sorry." Dib smiled._

_Zim hissed, and kicked Dib just as the doors opened. He stalked out of the confining elevator and into his lab._

_Dib growled and walked out of the elevator before tackling Zim to the ground and holding him down._

_"Hey! Dib-Monkey, get the hell off me!" he growled, bucking hopelessly. It was painful on the ground, with his Pak shoved against the metal floor._

_Dib didn't seem to mind that Zim was in pain, he deserved it for all the times he's put Dib in the hospital. "You wish. I'm not letting you take the Earth."_

_Zim clawed into the human's back, hoping to bring Dib enough pain as to force the annoying child off of him. "Whatever Dib-Thing. You couldn't stop me even if you had an advantage. Now get off of me and show me what you wanted to show me." He tried once again to shove the taller male off of him._

_Dib cringed but didn't make a big reaction like Zim had wanted. They had fought enough times that eventually Dib had gotten a sort of tolerance to mild pain. "I always stop you, or have you forgotten that you still don't have the Earth yet? And I've gotten some information that does give me an advantage." Dib stroked one of Zim's antennae._

_Zim went stiff, one eye twitching. His claws tightened for a moment before they let go completely. "D-Dib...s-stop..." He hissed._

_Dib grinned. Zim might have been a 'defective' for his race but at least the same weaknesses affected him. "Hmm.. I don't feel like it."_

_The Irken wanted the human to let go...he needed him to. But, Zim's mind was clouding and he couldn't make his body do what he wanted it to do. How had the boy found out about...this? Zim purred and his red eyes slid close. "Dib...Thing...no...touchy..."_

_Dib was almost disappointed that this was so easy. Too bad it took him this long to find out about it. "Why not? You seem quite fond of the attention."_

_Zim growled, a tiny bit of what could be called sanity reaching his brain. He reached up and dug his claws into the human's hand. "Off of Zim, now and I won't completely disembowel you." He threatened._

_Dib hadn't been expecting that and clutched onto the antennae as a reflex. "I can't let go with you digging your claws into my hand..." He winced, knowing that was going to leave a mark._

_Zim flinched as the idiot clutched too hard at his poor, sensitive antennae. "Fine!" He barked, letting go. "Now get the hell off of me!"_

_Dib held back a laugh, making mental notes of Zim's reactions for later. He decided he'd found out enough for the day and let go before getting off of the Irken. "Touchy much?" Dib laughed that time even though it was a stupid joke._

_The Defect jumped up and held his antennae, brushing them gently. He glared at Dib, eye twitching. "I am not touchy! I hate to touch anyone! I hate touching. Especially HYUMANS who don't have any brains!" He screeched, more than ready to rip the child apart._

_Dib pretended to be insulted. "That's so cruel of you to say Zim...I have a brain just like anyone else." He rolled his eyes. "You touch me plenty when your mad, how is that any different?"_

_"NO! I don't touch you. I wear gloves." Zim said, victoriously, wiggling his black gloved fingers to show them off as proof. "And you don't have a brain. That's just rotten, smelly corn stuff."_

_"Why is everything corn with you?" Dib pulled Zim's gloves off in a quick motion and smiled. "It's still considered touching. And either way now you'll have to touch me if you want them back."_

_Zim gasped and looked down at his gloveless hands in shock. Naked, green skin was exposed to the elements. He gnashed his teeth, fists clenching. "Give. Them. Back. To. Ziiiiim!"_

_"Nope. They're mine now." Dib laughed. "Oh think of all the germs that are getting on you. I bet they're squirming around." Zim was so much like a child with the way he handled things._

_Hyperventilating, he just pictured it. The icky, squirmy bacteria all over his flawless skin. Zim shuddered, and glared at Dib. The human was laughing this up. No longer. "Now." He hissed, activating his Pak legs with the laser canons. "Or I'll shoot right through your pitiful, pale, skinny body like tissue paper."_

_Dib's eyes widened. He could think his way out of this...right? Usually he was so good under pressure but for some reason his brain just stopped. "Alright, fine. Put those away and come get them."_

_Zim's eyes narrowed. "Put them on the ground." He hissed, glaring at the human who had hurt him, made him feel like a fool and on top of that had touched his antennae in a way only lovers and close companions should. The Dib-Monkey was neither._

_Dib glared. "I'm not stupid. You would shoot me anyway!" He had made that mistake once a long time ago and wasn't planning on doing it again. "It's not like I have any weapons on me anyway. Unlike that stupid thing," he motioned towards Zim's Pak arms, "That should be cheating."_

_Zim growled. "Fine." He retracted the lasers into his Pak and held his hand out expectantly. "Mine. Gimme." He said, eager to have his gloves back. His hands were already cold and twitchy from exposure._

_Dib looked down at Zim's hands. He had a huge urge to touch him but whether it was to piss the Irken off or not he didn't know. "Why do you have gloves on all the time anyway?"_

_Impatient, he stomped his foot. "Because I want to. GIVE!" He watched the human's oddly...beautiful gold eyes stare down at his hands. The child better not get any ideas._

_Too bad for Zim because Dib already had ideas. It wasn't even really because he wanted to know for science, just because he wanted to touch him. Dib frowned at his own train of thought and shook his head to clear it. "That isn't a good reason."_

_"DIIIIIB!" Zim whined, he already felt the goose bumps breaking out. "Give me my gloves. It's too cold and the GEEEERMS want my flesh."_

_Dib blinked. Since when did Zim whine instead of yell? "Leather gloves won't make your hands warm." Dib rolled his eyes at the simple logic and grabbed one of Zim's hands without thinking. "Better?"_

_"N-no!" He stuttered, hands warm. Hands germy. Zim snatched his hand back. "You know what...keep the gloves." He sniffed. "They can go into your shrine of the amazing Zim. I have other gloves." He didn't say that those were his favorite. With built in warmers and grips that kept them from sliding off and easier to work with._

_"Why would I have a shrine of your stupidity? Anything I have of yours is broken, just like most of the things you have anyway." Dib threw the gloves on the floor next to Zim. "And germs won't hurt you. There are germs in your body you moron."_

_Zim lunged for the gloves and picked them up, practically cuddling them. He slid them on and sighed as warmth invaded his hands. "There are no germs in my perfect body. Maybe they live in abundance in yours." he was glad he hit a nerve. "What made you drop the gloves Dibbeh? The shrine comment? Or the fact that I was no longer interested which made them worthless to you?" He grinned, devilishly._

_Dib tilted his head slightly, surprised to see Zim happy over something so trivial, more so if the Irken had multiple pairs. "Even aliens have germs. They're everywhere and they're harmless so don't act all high and mighty." He glared. "I dropped them because I don't like stooping down to your level of stupid and watching you look so pathetic over lost gloves isn't worth my time." That was just an excuse, though partially true. He wasn't really sure if Zim's interest in something mattered. They were enemies after all so Dib usually tried to take something he wanted, it made sense after all._

_Zim scoffed ignorant of Dib's anger. "You're just jealous because I have the gloves now and you don't." He smirked, teeth like the edges of a zipper. Zim was confident now that he had won the battle and too arrogant. He got up in Dib's foolish face and laughed. "You lie, Dib-Beast. You love watching me squirm and suffer just as much as I like watching you writhe in agony and beg for mercy." Zim ran one claw over the scythe lock that continued to fascinate him. He didn't pay attention to his actions or notice that he was going against everything he had just said about touching a while ago._

_"I don't care about your stupid gloves and if I did I wouldn't have given them back." Dib frowned; he'd never been a fan of Zim's teeth. They were too sharp for comfort and were extremely painful when used correctly. "I'm supposed to enjoy that, we're enemies and I'm supposed to, and going to, defeat you." Dib watched Zim's hand get closer and shivered slightly at the touch, stepping back a foot. "You just said you didn't want to touch humans and their corn filled germs." Dib mumbled._

_"You won't defeat me, Dib-Thing. I won't let you ever think that." He grew closer, so close they're bodies almost touched. "Does is make you uncomfortable?" he asked, one claws poking the human's odd smelling sensor called a nose. He found it funny that Dib thought he would defeat him. Not now, not in a million years. But, then the human wouldn't live that long._

_"I can and I will. Nothing you say will make me change my mind so forget it." Dib kept backing up until he hit one of the walls in the lab. He started cursing mentally since he was usually more aware of his surroundings. "Of course not." Dib glared to try and defend himself but it wasn't as strong as he would have liked it to be. As stupid as Zim was most of the time, when he had mood swings he could be dangerous. And the Irken was too close for comfort at the moment._

_Zim laughed, enjoying the sputtering and mumbling of the flustered boy. He also liked how Dib kept backing up, obviously afraid of how close he was. "Dib. Dib. Dib." He muttered. "I don't need to change your mind." He leaned close and whispered into the odd, hearing disk. "I just need to wait out your short life span. I can change you however I want anyway." Zim blew a puff of air on the hearing disk, or an 'ear' curious as to how it would react._

_Dib flinched at the closeness. He kept thinking Zim was going to lash out on him like he usually did. That would have been preferred compared to this. It was weird and he couldn't think clearly at all. Dib took a deep breath to try and calm himself, almost jumping at the air against his ear. "I refuse to die before you.." Dib reached over and yanked Zim's antennae. If Zim wanted to play this game then Dib could too. Stupid alien was practically coming on to him but at least Dib knew it wasn't on purpose. That would have made it worse if possible. "And you shouldn't want anything to do with me once I'm dead, unless you'd miss me too much and want to keep a part of me with you always. How sweet."_

_Zim flinched as once again he felt tight, sweaty human digits on his antennae. He flinched and jerked. "No, bad Dib!" He smacked Dib's hand away, hoping that it kept the human from attacking him anymore. "Don't flatter yourself, human meat beast. I would love to see you dead." He spat, lashing out with words the way they had time and time again. "And I would need nothing to keep as a memory. Fond memories and your stupidity would be more than enough."_

_Dib frowned and retreated his hand. "You lie. Say what you want but I know for a fact that you would miss me if I was gone. You'd get bored and lazy." Dib pushed Zim away harshly, getting annoyed with the closeness and Zim's harsh words. "You're in denial about everything. Including your mission. If you could even call it that."_

_Zim hissed, angry at the rough treatment. "I would not miss you. I would take over this planet much, much easier!" He brushed himself off and retreated, wondering what the hell he had been thinking. The Earth air was getting to him. "And what do you mean, monster with hair? My mission is as...missionay as missions get."_

_"Your mission is a lie. You shouldn't even be here!" Dib sighed. He really didn't want to explain this to the stupid alien. Zim would still be in denial and he'd be confused. Confusion and Zim usually lead to anger which led to Dib being injured. As super fun as that sounded, Dib didn't want to go through with it. "Nevermind. I'm going home. Have fun with your germs." Dib walked to the elevator._

_Zim yelled in anger, fists clenched. "Do NOT ignore Zim! You will not walk away from me! Get your Dib-Monkeyness back here and tell me what you mean before I drag you back here!" As if to prove his point, he grabbed Dib by the back of his trench coat and yanked._

_Dib was intent on ignoring Zim. He had only gotten a few feet before he felt himself being pulled back. Dib yelped and stumbled backwards. "Don't do that!" He glanced over and glared. "And don't tell me what to do. I'm leaving so get over it."_

_Zim held on for a few more seconds just to piss Dib off, then shoved him away. "Whatever. The Zim does not care. Get out of my sight." he snapped his fingers. "Computer! Throw the human out the trash shoot!" He smiled evilly and settled back in his chair to watch the show._

_Dib growled. "This isn't over." He yanked on Zim's antennae as he walked away for some payback to piss him off. "And by all means I'd love to tell you how much of a failure you are but you're just too stupid to understand it. Maybe I'll talk to Gir about it." Dib grinned. If anything that would definitely get the Irken mad. "See you at school!" Dib ran off to the elevator before the computer could send out a mechanical arm to catch him. He waved bye to Zim as the doors closed._

_"GRRRRRGGGGR!" Zim screamed, shaking with rage. The moronic, idiot, pig-monkey...asshole... He would get him back. Revenge would be his; Zim knew for sure and tomorrow would be sweet indeed. He took a deep breathe and smiled widely as he imagined the pain that would soon be Dib's to experience. "Heh..hehe! HA HA HA!" he laughed the sound echoing off the metal walls._

* * *

><p><em>Well that's the first chapter. I'm going to upload quite a few at a time. Might get up to how many I have on dA for today and post more later. Main reason I'm posting here is because I barely go on dA anymore (or here for that matter). But I'm going to post everything we've done so far which means I have to edit some things first. Hopefully I get done soon, the people from dA will make the effort to read updates here instead, and that this will get some decent reviews. If it does I might go back to posting other things here both from my dA, other collab roleplays, and maybe even some new stuff. Please enjoy the story.<em>

_Cupidity11 is Red and Zim, I'm Dib and Purple._


	2. 10 Minutes to Doom

_Dib visited with Gir for awhile since the robot was usually ignored and abused. He always felt bad for him so would at least say hi. When Gir finally let him leave, and stopped forcing waffles on him, he went back home and onto his computer. He tried opening up the server with the Massive to see if anyone was around._

"My Tallest! Incoming Signal from planet Earth...and it isn't Zim. It's the big headed smeet child again!" Red sipped his soda and nodded casually, indicating for his soldier to open the link.

_Dib waved and realized that Purple was missing. "Is he still mad?" He was almost relieved that he had someone to talk to. Dib didn't have friends, Zeta was just creepy and Keef was worse and Gir was...well Gir. He sighed slightly._

Red grinned, thinking of the night before. "Oh no...he's getting snacks." He looked at the child, who seemed worse for wear. "How did the whole...testing the defect go?"

_"Not so great actually. Though you probably expected that." Dib ran a hand through his hair. He was still stressed out from earlier. "By the way did you know he's scared to death of germs? Of all the stupid things."_

"Germs?" Red shuddered. "Of course he is. Germs are horrible, hideous things that deserve to be destroyed." He sucked his drink dry. "Damn." He stared disappointedly into his cup. With a snap of his fingers a smaller Irken ran up with a tray and handed a new one to him.

_"They're just germs... You have them in your body so it shouldn't be something to fear." Dib watched the smaller Irken. "What do you and Purple do all day? All I've seen you do is eat."_

Red took a long drag of sweet, sweet soda. With a contented sigh, he said, "Germs don't live in the Irken body. It's part of our system. The Pak cleans them all out." He settled better in the chair for the conversation ahead. "Not much. The only big thing going on right now is O.I.D. 2 and half of the Invaders are already finished. Mostly we focus on helping them in any way possible. Making treaties and creating new Paks. We're trying to fix the whole 'Defect" problem."

_Dib thought about that. Humans had good germs that were necessary for survival. It seemed odd that aliens didn't have something at least similar. Then again half of them was a machine. The thought of your being and source of life being stuck on your back didn't seem appealing to the boy. "Any luck with the problem? Hopefully you're having better luck than me, but that's not hard. I have terrible luck." Dib sighed. His whole life was just a timeline of bad luck._

Red sighed. "I have no idea. I have one of my best scientists working on it but, I haven't heard from him for days. What do you mean? What happened?" he asked, already missing his Co-Tallest even though the other man hadn't been away longer then a few minutes.

_"He had a bunch of mood swings. Mostly violent and angry as usual but he got all touchy as revenge I guess." Dib shrugged, not really sure what happened in Zim's head...or Pak. "And I let it slip about the mission being fake and he was as confused as ever. It's not even worth explaining it." Purple floated over with a handful of bagged donuts and handed Red one. He didn't seem as upset to see Dib on the monitor like before. He and Red had a 'talk' about it last night. "Did I miss anything?"_

Red smiled at Purple, grabbing the bag and opening it before shoveling the stuff into his mouth. "Just the Dib explaining his Zim encounter." He turned back to Dib. "Mood swings?"

_"If he gets annoyed or confused he starts having mood swings. Like he'll be talking normally one second then pointing a laser at you then getting touchy feely." Dib frowned at the last part. He felt like he had Zim cooties or something, it was weird._

Red pulled Purple into his lap, laughing. "Touchy feely?"

_"Why is that the only part you pay attention to..." Dib leaned back in his chair. "Life would be so much easier with him gone." Purple was munching on a few donuts as he was pulled. When he swallowed he looked up at Red with a grin before stroking an antennae. "You know what he means Red."_

Red nuzzled Purple's hand, making a small purring noise. "I do. The poor kid. And with Zim too. That's the worst." He sighed, running his claw down the side of his lover's face.

_Purple grinned, "Zim or not it's still Irken. Considering the horrible things on Earth it might not have been so bad." Dib's eyes widened. "Not like that! Ewww... he just invaded my personal space is all. Humans have different ways to show affection and stuff.." His voice dropped as he talked. This was the weirdest topic to have with aliens._

"So...did you touch his antennae?" Red asked, kinda curious and disgusted all at once. "And how do human show...affection?"

_"Yeah. It got him to stop clawing at me for a minute. That was kind of good I guess." Dib flushed. "Well... holding hands and hugging and kissing I guess... But I've never done any of that." He looked away._

Red narrowed his eyes, curious. "We do a lot of that." He said, referring to Purple. "But, we aren't humans." Red slid a hand under his partners chin and lightly kissed him. "Do you plan to make these calls an everyday thing?" He wondered, sipping his drink.

_Purple smiled. "As much as I appreciate the attention I don't think our guest enjoys watching." Dib's blush had gotten worse. "Well I don't know what Irkens do.." Dib leaned back in his chair slightly depressed. "Sorry. I'll stop calling then."_

Red chuckled, humans were touchy. "Did I say that you had to stop? I was merely curious." He looked at Purple. "I know he doesn't. No one else does either. That's why I do it. That and your just so irresistible." He snuggled closer. "Irkens...we are very different."

_"Don't laugh..." Dib frowned. "I'm like the Zim of my planet so I'm not good with interacting." Purple shrugged. "I'd be more irresistible if you went two seconds without me," he teased._

"You mean you're a psychotic freak who everyone hates?" Red asked. "Is that why you haven't done any of this human mating affectiony stuff?" Red tapped his chin, considering Purple's comment. "Maybe. But, it's just too hard."

_"I wouldn't put it that way... No one thinks aliens exist on my planet so they think I'm crazy. They think Zim is just a weird kid with a skin condition. Earth isn't even worth being taken over, it's filled with idiots." Dib blinked. "Are you always so blunt? I don't have a choice because no one talks to me." Purple laughed. "Lazy." He went back to eating a bag of donuts. "Joy, I'm a human Zim." Dib had a whiny tone in his voice and sighed. "I can't deny that we're similar though. At least I'm not dense and stupid...I hope." Great now he was doubting himself. He blamed Zim, everything was his fault anyway._

Red smiled. "I sense some anger in you, Dib." He said, all professional like. "You do have some of the same qualities, that is something that cannot be denied." Shoveling an entire doughnut in his mouth, Red stared with narrowed eyes at Dib. "Short. Loud. Arrogant. Intelligent. Most likely dangerous..."

_Dib narrowed his eyes. Sure it was nice for someone to understand his hate for Zim and try to help him for once. Red was dissecting him like a therapist though. And he was doing it nonchalantly while shoving his face full of food. Getting mad would just prove his point though so he took a breath and tried to relax, his fist tightening at his side. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"_

Red slurped obnoxiously at his soda. "Sure. Let's go with that." Red stared at Dib, wondering how Zim and the human hadn't annihilated each other yet. But, surely it was inevitable.

_Dib crossed his arms. "If I'm so much like Zim then why are you even talking to me?" Purple rolled his eyes. "Because it's interesting. And you could be useful."_

Red nodded. "He pretty much said it all." Red stroked his lover's antennae, wondering how he had ever deserved the smart ass. "Now, tell us how Zim acts on Earth? Has he actually DONE anything to destroy the planet?"

_Dib frowned. They could have lied to make him feel better. He was tempted to just cut the connection. "Zim acts like an idiot and nothing he has tried has made any progress." His hand was resting on the keyboard, tapping the key in thought if he should hang up._

Red winked at Purple. "Go ahead, Dib. Prove me right." He smirked, noting how the human was caught between hanging up or not. "Would have had me say something poetic? Lied to you...like we lie to Zim every time he calls." He slurped his drink. "You're lucky. Almost no one hears the truth." Hearing that the invader was making no progress wasn't a surprise. It was sort of welcome because he was winning the bet with the rest of the Invaders.

_Dib frowned but kept his hand in place. "Me hanging up wouldn't prove anything. I'm not stupid. And you haven't been lying because I know a lot of the basics from Zim or his computer's data. So if we're going to continue talking I'd prefer you not saying things like that. I'm already treated horribly by my own kind, I won't deal with it from yours too." His head just hurt. He was still stuck on the being like Zim comment._

"Human child, our race is built on violence and death. I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth if I tried. Every Irken is raised to be able to take the utter horror that will one day encompass them. If you can't take it, you will die. So, if you can't take talking to one, then go away and don't call again." He took a drink from his Irken soda, curious as to how the boy would react to such probing and intimidation.

_That made Dib angrier than anything. It's how he and Zim talked all the time and even though he didn't enjoy it, it still drove him forward. "I'm not dying anytime soon but thanks for the obvious concern." He said sarcastically. "I know what your race is built on and how you operate but you two are different than the rest. The ones on the ship are mindless drones, the ones on missions are the smarter ones, Zim is on the bottom, and you two actually have more emotions I guess. With all the violence and anger in your race the way you two act with each other is just odd." Purple smiled. "Well he took that surprisingly well. And is pretty observant."_

"He did. I am impressed. Do you think that he is of any use, Pur?" Red asked his fellow Tallest.

_Dib frowned. "I'm right here you know..." Purple shrugged. "He could be useful. Either way I love new toys."_

Red grinned, knowing just how much Pur did love new things to play with. "Yes. I see you." He thought for a moment. "How far would you be willing to go to kill Zim?"

_"Why? Something in mind that might be more effective?" Dib would go along with it until Zim was gone. He wasn't going to just sit back and be used._

"Yes. It's simple, easy and painful." He grinned. "Remove his Pak and keep it away from him for 10 minutes. Everyone's problem will be solved."

_"How do you get it off?" Dib had tried to at least get it open before and had never been successful._

"Catch him off guard and there's a latch underneath the bottom dot. Click it and it will come off with no difficulty." If they could get a human to do their dirty work they would have Zim out of their antennae. That was truly a dream come true.

_"And when the ten minutes are up should I just leave him? And what about Gir?" Dib frowned, feeling guilty for killing the robots master. He shook his head quickly; Zim was a horrible owner anyway. Dib was sure he could convince Gir to stay with him and that Zim went on vacation or something._

"Who cares? You can just take the robot if you wish." Red said, dismissively. "So you kill him, we won't ever attack your planet. Deal?"

_Dib shrugged. "Yeah, sure." He didn't seem as enthused for some reason and couldn't think of why. Purple leaned back on Red. "That's all we're using him for?"_

Red grinned, pleased. "Well, would you like to use him for more?" He asked, laying an arm around Purple's shoulder.

_"Would you prefer to discuss my 'uses' with me not here? By all means I don't want to be a bother." Dib rolled his eyes. "Either way I got school tomorrow so I'll follow Zim home and call with the results later I guess." Purple smiled. He'd be nice and leave the human in the dark if that's what he wanted._

Red recognized the sneaky look on his co-Tallest's face. "Yes. Yes. Sounds fine to me. Have fun tomorrow, Dib. I almost wish I could see it myself."

_"It will probably be Zim screaming in rage. I doubt it will be anything interesting. Have fun with your talk." Dib cut the line and got everything ready for school tomorrow. "What would you say if I wanted him?" Purple grinned._

Red smiled, wrapping an antennae around his finger. "Wanted him? I would say on a platter or in chains."

_Purple purred. "You know me too well. But he could be useful and fun at the same time."_

Red chuckled, thinking of all the uses. "Hmm...a human slave. He would be the first of his kind. What an honor." He whispered.

_Purple smiled. "I'd let you play with him first of course. You said you'd have fun making him kill his own kind."_

Red licked his lip. "Yes...then of course we can use him for all the nasty things that you like. Maybe we can put him on display."

_Purple shrugged. "That gets old too easy. He's strong willed too. It's fun thinking of new stuff. That can be our project until we get him here."_

Red laughed. "If you insist. How exactly do you suggest we get him here?" He asked, watching the devious thoughts surface in Purple's mind.

_Purple crossed his arms in thought, eating a donut for brain food. "He actually likes 'aliens' and space so we could offer to fly him around a bit. Or something like that. You have any ideas?"_

Red tapped his claw against his chin. "Well, he did kill our worst enemy. He deserves an award, don't you think, Pur?" Sipping on his soda he looked out the huge window into space.

_"He hasn't killed him yet." Purple shrugged. "Hopefully he will soon. What kind of award? We were just talking about him being our new toy."_

Red sighed and rolled his eyes. His lover really had an issue with sarcasm. "I was saying that we could tell him that in thanks for killing the horrible defect, he would get an award. It would get him here, yes?"

_Purple smiled and pet Red's antennae since it was close. "I knew what you meant, I was messing with you. And I like my idea better." Pur smiled. "An award can be sent anyway."_

Red narrowed his maroon eyes, and tried to ignore the feel of his lover's claws stroking his antennae. "Whatever gets him here. Do we 'invite' him here before or after he kills the idiot? Or what if he doesn't?" He was beginning to question the child's hatred of Zim.

_Pur grinned and pulled a bit for a reaction. "Either way is fine. If you doubt him so much then we could get him now. He has a lot of anger but I don't know how likely it would be for him to kill someone."_

Red cringed and grabbed Purple's hand, leering at him. "I want to see what he does. If we want to make him kill others of his kind we have to see if he can do this." He stood, pulling Pur up with him. "In the meantime, you pain in the ass, lets think of other things to do with him."

_Purple pouted and intertwined their fingers. "If you want to observe him then go ahead. He could kill people maybe." He shrugged. "I'm not a pain in the ass... You don't have to be so mean."_

Red smirked at that. "You are and you're secretly proud of it." He kissed their intertwined hands. "Besides its one of the things I admire about you."

_Purple grinned. "Who said it's a secret?" He walked with Red behind him. "Let's start a list of stuff we can do once he gets here. He'll be calling tomorrow."_

"I know. The pitiful human is lonely." Red followed. "What do you think we should do?"

_"Poor little guy is just pathetic." Purple shrugged. "It's a wonder he's still alive."_

"I know. I bet Zim is the only reason he lives." Red laughed. "Come one Pur. Let's go eat food and plot."

_Dib went to school the next day and watched Zim. He was trying to see if he could see the button but couldn't. He sighed and looked at the clock, waiting for the end of the day._

Zim had no time for the human child, he was focusing on his latest and most ingenious plan to destroy the humans! He was doodling a blue print for it on lined paper.

_Dib drew little doodles of Zim dying in his notebook and it was bothering him more than it should have. He had to do it. No turning back now so he just had to get over the fear. Ten minutes of Zim then he'd be free._

Yes...Zim bit his lip forcing himself not to scream in victory. It was perfect. All he had to do was introduce the chemical into the water supply and ta da! poof! lots of screaming as this planet fell. His lips twitched up into a grin and a few chuckles escaped him.

_Dib watched Zim with a frown as the bell rang for class to be over. He needed to try and follow Zim home again without getting killed. Or... "Hey Zim?"_

Zim was running out the door, gasped and spun. He jumped away suspiciously and picked up a stick to use as protection. "What, is it?"

_Dib couldn't help but laugh. "A stick? I was just going to ask if you wanted to come to my house. To make up for yesterday."_

Zim dropped the stick, sniffing indignantly. "I don't wish to go to your house. Why on Irk would you invite me, the Stoopid alien?" He asked, red eyes narrowed on Dib.

_Dib shrugged. "I'm having second thoughts about stopping you is all and wanted to talk." It was true but he was going to use it to his advantage._

Second thoughts? "You? Pitiful protector of this hideous planet is having second thoughts? Dib-Monkey who has practically stalked me and risked his own life more times than even my superior brain can count, is having second thoughts?" Zim shrieked, unable to believe it. "Why would you have second thoughts? What germ has infected your meat?" He asked, one eye bigger than the other as he poked at Dib's large head. "It must be horrible for you to change your mind so quickly."

_Dib frowned. "This didn't happen just randomly you idiot." He smacked Zim's hand away. "Don't even start with me on this. I'm really serious." Dib looked away and picked up his back pack. "I'm sick of being hated and ignored by everyone, I'm not crazy and they won't realize it until something horrible happens to open their eyes. That's why I wanted to talk. Maybe I could help you even." Dib shrugged, not even sure what he was saying anymore._

Zim was still suspicious, but he tapped his chin in thought. "Hmm...I will talk with you. But, where?" He spun around in circles, thinking. "If I go with you to your shelter unit, you will not attack me. If you do I will shove all your text books up your ass. Deal?" Zim said, eyes narrowed.

_"We could go to your base if you'd feel safer there." Dib flinched at the threat. When had Zim learned that phrase anyway? "I get it, I get it. I won't attack you." Technically what he was planning wasn't an attack..at least he thought it wasn't. "Where do you want to go?"_

Zim thought for a moment proud of his amazing insulting skills. This MTV was good for that sort of stuff. "My base." He spun on his heel, clutching his blue print. "Come."

_Dib sighed and followed him. "I said I might help you. So don't expect anything." He walked to Zim's base and saw Gir running around in the yard and waving._

"Gir!" Zim yelled. "Be a good evil minion and take this to my lab. Don't touch anything!" He said, handing Gir his epic blue print.

_Gir giggled and grabbed the paper, running away to the lab. Dib watched Gir leave. "What was that? You're newest plan?"_

"NO!" Zim screeched, wondering how Dib knew such a thing. "It- its my...dry cleaning. ." He cleared his throat. "We'll talk in my lab."

_Dib rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Sure it is. I've known you long enough to know that's a huge lie." He walked to the elevator. "Well let's go down then."_

Zim hated that it was true. "Don't tell me what to do!" He yelled even as he followed Dib inside the elevator. Reaching the bottom, he strode out and sat in his chair, motioning for Dib to take a seat on the lab table.

_Dib walked over and eyed the table. An image of a frog being dissected popped into his head and he shivered. "I'm fine standing." His mind was doing jumps all over the place. He needed to think of something to get Zim's Pak off. He couldn't do it if Zim was sitting down._

"Suit yourself." Zim lazed about, spinning around in the purple chair. "So...human are you planning on coming to the dark side?" Zim smirked at his own wit. He watched the human child, who seemed uneasy. Tall, maybe six feet. But, he was wearing big, black boots so that added a few inches. Black hair fell into his molten gold eyes that danced when he was angry, amused or mocking. Zim eyed how stiff and tense Dib was, but why? Aside from the fact that he was in his worst enemy's house.

_Dib watched Zim in the chair. The alien looked too relaxed and happy for the boy's liking. "I have a name." He growled. "And I said I wasn't sure." Stupid Zim always thought he had the upper hand. He was still shorter than him and had his fake hair and contacts in. Dib crossed his legs and tapped the tip of his boot on the floor mindlessly. It made a weird sound and it kept a rhythm like a metronome. He pulled a few strands of hair out of his eyes. "Well if you want me on the dark side as you call it then it's your job to convince me to switch sides."_

Zim bit his lip, stretching. He removed both contacts and wig throwing his disguise aside to stare at Dib with his red eyes. He grinned, knowing that his teeth made Dib uneasy. "And how exactly would you like me to...convince you?" He asked, eyes narrowed. The child was so annoying, thinking himself high and mighty. Well he wasn't.

_Dib watched the disguise with a sigh and ignored Zim's teeth with some difficulty. He could still mentally feel Zim's teeth threatening him. Zim shouldn't know about the things that bothered him. "I wouldn't like you to do anything. If you want me to help you instead of try to destroy you then by all means convince me." Dib leaned back on the lab table but refused to sit on it. Plus he knew being taller than Zim pissed the alien off._

Zim scoffed. "You are the one who said he might want to trade sides. You're the one who said that you wished to make up for yesterday." Which was weird in and of itself. "But, you are talking or doing neither. You're trying to intimidate me and make me angry. You're uneasy. Why? What are you planning?"

_"I'm not trying to make you angry. If I was I'd comment on your height or failure rate. Or just tackle you again like yesterday." Dib looked down. "I said might so I wanted to hear your opinion on why I should give up on the Earth and stuff I guess. Why wouldn't I be uneasy when I'm confused and unarmed in your lab?"_

Zim sighed, the Dib did make valid annoying points. "Everyone hates you. No one believes you about me being an...alien. The stoopid people on this planet don't deserve to be saved because they are destroying it with their ickyness. You don't need them. With both of our brains together we can end this pitiful planet and everyone's eyes will be opened. You will be seen as what could've been a savior, as being right and I will be revered on my planet. It suits us both." He took a deep breathe. "There. Was that enough convincing or do you need more, Dibblet?"

_Dib frowned, he would have preferred more convincing actually. Anything Zim said he had already thought of hundreds of times. The fact that he'd almost given up on his entire race hurt him but he still didn't really care which made it worse. Plus Zim was wrong, he still would be hated on his planet and if Dib did go along with switching sides, Zim would eventually find out the truth. In Zim's outrage he would probably think Dib had been planning it all along and would just kill him in pure anger. That didn't sound like how it was supposed to go. He really wished Zim would get out of the chair so he could hit the button and the mental timer in his head could finally start. Second thoughts or not he still wanted it to be over. "If I helped you what would happen after that? I'd be alone and there would be nothing here anymore."_

Zim bit his lip. "Well...if we destroy this planet we couldn't let an intellect such as yours go to waste." He thought for a moment, tapping his foot much in the same rhythm as Dib was subconsciously. "You could...come with me. I know that you like this...astronomy nonsense. Well, there's plenty of that out there." He shrugged. "I'm sure Irk could use some new scientists and stuff." He finished quickly. "I'm not promising anything but, it's an option."

_Dib was extremely surprised. Zim almost sounded sincere for once in his life. Maybe it was because he was still suspicious of him and was trying to distract Dib, it was working. "You're serious...?" It just didn't make sense. Zim never admitted that Dib was smart at all. He always called the boy stupid and worthless. It had to be a lie. There had to be a reason Zim would say something like that. "You're lying..." Dib frowned and stared at the floor. He'd been lied to and led on his entire life to just be let down and disappointed. He tried to not let it get to him but he never thought Zim would go that far just to say he had won for the day._

Zim sighed. "Yes, I'm serious. It would be worth it. I wouldn't have to worry about you stopping me at every turn and...you are more intelligent than these other monkeys. Like I said, it would benefit both of us." He spun around one more time, in disbelief. He couldn't believe he was saying this. "I am not lying. If I was it would be better than this." Zim stood, walking towards Dib with his hand held out in front of him. "So...what do you say, Dib-Thing? Would you like to help me destroy the earth?" He asked, grinning.

_Dib wouldn't look at him, eyes glued to the floor. His foot had stopped tapping and he hadn't even realized it. He heard Zim get up and raised his gaze to the approaching Irken. Dib wished he hadn't called the Tallest in the first place but knew this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't called anyway. He and Zim were equals, brothers from different species, and he was going to kill him. Dib_ _cringed at the word and stared at Zim's outstretched hand. The boy sighed and grabbed it, pulling the alien into a hug. "I really appreciate that you actually said all of that. I know we're enemies but do you trust me? Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?"_

Zim squeaked as he was pulled into what humans called a 'hug'. It was an affectionate thing he knew. On a level to antennae stroking. Zim couldn't move as a feeling of helplessness and warmth suffused him. It was so strange. It hurt. But then he was back and noticed that they were touching. "Yes. Yes! All forgiven and trusty and yes! Just let me go Dib-Monkey!" He screeched, arms flailing.

_Dib bit the inside of his cheek. He was surprised Zim didn't push him away immediately but that was a good thing. In a quick moment Dib hit the button on the bottom of the Pak and it came off easily. He grabbed it and stepped back a few feet quickly, the mental clock already starting. Ten minutes, nine minutes fifty nine seconds... He could barley even hear himself thinking it. The adrenalin was making him nauseated and he hugged the Pak to his chest defensively._

Zim gasped, the air suddenly rushing from him as he stumbled back, falling to the floor. Something was missing. He felt no hard lump between him and the metal floor. Then the clock came up in front of his eyes. Nine minutes forty eight seconds. Shock held him immobile for a few more. The he stared up at Dib...the boy he had just agreed to help. Had given up his pride in order to help him. The bastard. Zim's left eye twitched and he growled with so much rage and hurt that it echoed off the walls, and made his throat instantly sore. He jumped up, feeling too light without the metal on his back. He held out his hand, trying not to notice that it was shaking. "Dib give me my Pak." He gulped. "Now."

_Dib's eyes were wide and looked just hurt as Zim's. His body was shaking slightly and the cool metal of the Pak did nothing to console him. "I can't... You said you trusted me." Dib swallowed with some difficulty and tried to ignore the shaking hand in front of him. "It's better this way, I'm helping you." It made him feel a bit better that he knew that this was better than watching Zim take over Earth to just be stepped on and humiliated by the Tallest. Dib could take Zim's anger and could deal with getting hurt but as much as he hated the alien he didn't want to see him break. "If you don't want to believe me that's fine, I'm used to you hating me." Dib took another step back. Hopefully Zim couldn't move around as easily without the Pak._

Zim tried not to panic as he felt his body already slowing and shutting down. "Damn it Dib! What the hell are you speaking of now? Give me my Pak!" he took deep breathe, winded from yelling. "I need it!" He knew what would happen in a few minutes, so he began repeating everything he knew over and over in his head. I am an Irken Invader. My name is Zim. My Pak number is 237485648. My Tallest sent me on a mission to earth. I will destroy it. Right after I destroy an annoying bug named Dib. Zim walked forward slowly and steady trying not to frighten the child.

_Dib already was scared but not of Zim. He kept backing up until he hit the wall again and squeaked in surprise. "I can't! They'll do worse when you go back!" Dib looked down. He didn't know if it was worth even trying to explain himself since Zim wouldn't understand. The small Irken blindly followed his leaders since day one; that fact probably wouldn't change now. It might be helpful to distract him from how long the ten minutes would seem. "The Tallest hate you Zim. If you took over the Earth they would still hate you and call you a defect. They sent you here so they wouldn't have to deal with you." He slid down the wall till he was sitting and tried to control his breathing._

Zim froze; now that he was disconnected he could think clearer almost. The words Dib said reached way deep down inside him to where there might have been a soul. It touched him and made him want to sink down and truly just die. But, if Zim had ever let the truth get to him, invade his senses he would have nothing left to live for. So, he shook off what Dib said and walked with purpose towards Dib. That was until his leg gave out. He dropped to the floor with no sound. "Damn it." He hissed. I am Zim. I am Zim. Irken Invader. Pak number...Pak number? 27845-no that wasn't right. "Dib! Give it to me!" he screamed, getting desperate. "Please." he whispered. He had never said please for anything in his entire life. But now...he would die.

_Dib winced when Zim hit the floor. He wanted to just give Zim the Pak and forget this ever happened. He didn't have to call the Tallest back. Then life could get back to normal. Just the two of them fighting like usual and waiting for school to end everyday. He smiled sadly, knowing that would never work. Dib wouldn't be the same and the Tallest would probably blow up Earth anyway. Violent leaders probably didn't like being lied to. Something in his head told him that seven minutes were left and he frowned. It already seemed like it had been hours and the Pak was getting heavy in his arms for some reason. "Don't say that...I'm helping you." Dib frowned. Zim had never said please. Ever. Out of all the fighting and stealing of things why did now have to be the time?_

"I-I am Zim. I am Zim." He repeated not paying attention to Dib, just trying to remember his name. "How...are you helping me?" Zim screamed, too high pitched. "You're fucking killing me!" He choked on the air, too much for his slowing squeedely spooch. "D-damn it! D...D..." he couldn't remember the human's name. He knew from many demonstrations at the academy that the withdrawal would work backwards. Starting at the most recent memory downloads. The last thing he would forget would be his name. The first of course was what he was doing here. Who the child was in front of him. "You...you have my Pak, alien smeet. Give it to me or I'll split you open!" he growled, half in English half in Irken.

_Dib frowned at Zim's trouble speaking. The Tallest were right, all of Zim was right in his arms and the body couldn't hold the information without the device. Just knowing you were dying was bad enough but to slowly lose yourself was just cruel. What kind of moron would make a Pak anyway? Dib was getting desperate but still didn't want to give it back, his grip on the orb tightening. It hurt to be forgotten. If Zim couldn't remember his name then probably everything that he'd done on Earth was gone as well. He didn't want to give in but he was desperate, and still didn't really want Zim dead, that fact was clear now more than ever. "Tell me my name and I'll give it back..."_

Zim gasped, head aching. Like it was splitting open. The minutes flashed above his eyes. "I-I..." he bit his lip. The boy's face was kind of familiar, his golden eyes staring at him so...perfect. In the way like he'd seen it everyday but, had never paid attention to it before. "D...Di..." He said. He couldn't remember. What was it? Where was he? "It starts with a D." Zim yelled, holding himself up on his arms, before those too became too weak, to hold him. He groaned in pain, shaking uncontrollably.

_Dib looked hopeful for a minute before deflating a second later. Zim was close at least, maybe he really could remember? They still had five minutes. He put the Pak next to him on the floor carefully and scooted over to grab Zim. Dib pulled the Irken in his lap to support him and hugged him lightly. "That's right. Come on, all you have to do is remember me." He didn't even understand what he was doing or why and that bothered him. Seeing Zim like this was just too much though so he went with whatever gut feeling he got. "Remember Gir, and your mission, and going to school every day? You've been here too long to forget me so easily." That was a lie, Irkens lived a long time so to Zim it probably hadn't been that long but he didn't care._

The things that the human was describing...rang a bell. But, pain kept racking his system making it hard to concentrate. Zim felt warm. Mostly because the human child was like fire. Or at least his skin was. "Gir?" A picture of an annoying blue child swam before his eyes. Somehow that felt wrong. Skool? Torture. His mission? Earth...to...destroy. Zim yelled out in pain as he realized he couldn't move any more. Damn it. He stared up at the only thing he could. The life from holding him like a brother, a close friend...a lover. All nonsense. He didn't know this boy. A sudden image of long black hair and mocking laughter echoed in his mind. Trying to freak him out with...water? Hideous substance. So much pain. Zim stared into golden eyes...on the tip of his tongue. The name. What was the name? "I...I...You...my enemy." Zim hissed, watching the clock in front of his face.

_Dib watched Zim closely and it seemed the alien was really trying to think. Why wouldn't he when some random alien was keeping his life source away from him? The boy frowned, he felt horrible for doing this and time made it worse. "Gir is your S.I.R. unit, he helped you on missions to take over the planet." Dib hesitantly raised a hand and stroked Zim's antennae in hopes of calming him down and easing any pain the Irken might be having. He was hoping it would make it easier to concentrate. Dib nodded. "You've been trying to take over the Earth and I've been trying to stop you. It's only three letters, just say it already.."_

Zim shook, aching inside and out. "Di..." He coughed, and drops of blue blood shone on his lips. His life was rewinding itself. He remembered details he'd forgotten just to forget them for the last time. Name...his name was Z... "I can't...I..." he swallowed. "Di..." Zim whispered.

_Dib's eyes widened. "No... you can't just die on me, you're better than that you stupid alien!" His vision blurred and he held back the tears. He was killing Zim and blaming him for it. "There's still time Zim... Please...?" He reached over and grabbed the Pak. Dib was too tempted to just give it back._

Two minutes...He killed the Tallest. Both Tallest. Destroyed Irk. He wasn't an Invader, merely a fry cook. He gasped in no air, and felt tears prick at his red eyes for the first time in his entire life. They trailed down his face and he couldn't move to wipe them away. Felt the blood in his lungs that he couldn't cough up. One minute... His eyes stared into the person's holding him. The last person to ever see him alive. Who? He...enemy. Nemesis. Hurtful and...endearing. Too smart for his own good and hated just like him. Too tall. Too pale. Too skinny. But, intelligent golden eyes held onto hope behind black rimmed eye lenses. He...the human...stubborn, plotting, betrayal. A blueish tear shimmered down his cheek as the final seconds approached. A single name entered his mind...he didn't even know if it was correct. But, with the last breathes he had he managed to speak. " D-Dib..." He whispered, eyes rolling back in his head.

* * *

><p>I got one review in one day. :3 Quite happy about that for some reason. Sooo...this is a horrible place to leave off. The more ratesreviews I get, the faster I'll update this.


	3. Painful Truth

_Dib had taken the Pak and lined it up in the right spot and was going to click it in place but Zim's expression stopped him. It was like he remembered something. He forced a small smile for encouragement. Dib knew time was almost out but he was in a daze until he heard his name. He automatically clicked the Pak back on and his eyes widened. The time was over and he was probably too late. "Zim... You're going to wake up in a minute and be fine..." Dib frowned when he didn't notice any movement from the Irken in his arms. He could hear a few clicks and mechanical sounds that were just the Pak but it wasn't doing any good. Dib hugged him close. "This isn't funny Zim. Wake up..."_

Was there a heaven or hell for someone who had no soul? He didn't know. But, he felt free without the boundaries of this hellish life. No enemies or missions. The names following him and holding him down, Defect, idiot, Moron, didn't phase him here. So soft and peaceful. He wasn't expected to be anything but, dead. That was okay with him. Whoever he was. But, suddenly he felt something...a tightness around his chest. Dragging him back. To where? Why?

_"Wake up..." Dib whined and shook Zim's body lightly. He just killed another life form, he was a murderer. Well the Tallest would be happy, right? The tears fell freely now and he put his head on Zim's shoulder. "I didn't mean to..." His voice was quiet, throat feeling dry as if he'd been screaming the whole time. He felt sick to his stomach and extremely cold even with his huge trench coat. This was something that couldn't just be fixed with a few days and some bandages. Zim was gone and it was his fault._

Zim jerked as his Pak sent a high powered electric shock through him. All the information came flooding back into his system as the Pak identified and confirmed that he was Zim. He shook with the force of his brain being reprogrammed. All his habits and personality defects fell back into place. His fears and wants. His hatred and...lusts. Zim's red eyes shot open. He was an Irken Invader. He was on a secret mission to destroy this hideous planet. He gasped in a large breath of air and felt his body awakening. The first thing he felt was the cold floor, wetness on his face and the taste of blood in his mouth. Then he felt the heavy, warmth of a large head on his shoulder.

_Dib barely noticed Zim move around, too in his own little world. He could barely think straight and didn't even care or notice that his crying would eventually get Zim's shoulder wet and burn him because of the water. It wouldn't matter either way since he was dead. Dib hugged Zim tighter and muttered a small "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to do. His whole body was numb._

Zim was caught between burning rage and confusion. Kill the human now, or find out why he had tried to kill him? "Dib?" Zim whispered, holding still.

_"Great, now I'm hearing things." Dib was still quiet but there was anger hidden in his words. Maybe he really was crazy._

Zim sighed, rolling his eyes. "There's no doubting that you're insane, but this hurts. Now get you Dib ass up so I'm not shoved against the floor anymore." he growled, ready to show Dib that he was alive, with his claws if necessary.

_Dib frowned. The voice was an ass. Then again voices didn't feel pain, right? He had to think about that for a second and straightened to look down at Zim. "Zim...?" Dib moved off him mechanically._

Zim sat off, barely wincing and brushed himself off. He stood up shakily and cleared his throat, before staring down at the human. "Yes." Zim said before slapping the human across the face. "That's for trying to kill me."

_Dib watched him blankly. He winced on contact and rubbed the area weakly. "I said I was sorry..." He was still out of it. "At least you don't seem that mad..." The mumbled words flowed at weird intervals as if he was unsure of himself. He wiped his face with his sleeve to get any left over tears off._

Zim glared. "I'm not that mad. Yet." he hissed. "I'm more curious than pissed. So, tell me Dib," Zim sneered the name. "Why did you try to kill me? And why didn't you follow through?" He murmured, lightly lifting up Dib's chin and twisting it back and forth to get a look at his blotchy, red face. From tears? How odd...

_Dib wouldn't look at him. "Don't be mad... I didn't want you to get hurt. It was the only way." He mumbled and his vision blurred again because Zim moving his head was making him dizzy. "Don't do that..." Dib pushed Zim's hand away gently and rubbed at his eyes._

"You didn't want me hurt...so you tried to murder me?" Zim tapped his chin. When he saw those beautiful eyes well up with tears again he sighed, in disgrace. "Why are you crying?" Zim asked, kneeling down at Dib's level.

_Dib nodded a bit and whined when it made him more dizzy. The room was spinning and he could barely see Zim other than his big eyes. "Not crying... You wouldn't care anyway since I killed you."_

"What?" Zim hissed, grabbing Dib's big head to stop the boy from tilting about. "Dib-Beast. How is it that I am the one who died and yet, you are the one freaking out?" Zim would freak out later but, for now he was calm.

_Dib flinched, thinking Zim was going to hit him. "My kind isn't bred for killing... And I cared about you." He frowned and messed with the end of his coat idly. "What the hell am I even going to do now? Stupid Tallest talking me into this..."_

Zim raised the place where an eyebrow would've been. "You care about me? And what do you mean, Tallest talking you into this? You are not making any sense, Dib-Beast." Zim leaned closer and whispered. "If you don't start soon I'll give you something to be upset about."

_Dib pulled his knees up and hugged them close as if that'd help if Zim got mad. He was still shaking slightly. "You won't understand any of it...even if you did you'd call me a liar and get mad anyway while you denied it. I tried to kill you so you wouldn't have to deal with everything."_

Zim growled and grabbed Dib by his forearms, yanking them away from his legs. "EXPLAIN! I DON'T CARE IF I'LL UNDERSTAND OR NOT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU FEEL ALL SAD AND 'OH POOR ME'!" Zim wailed, shaking in fury. "You almost fucking killed me, Irk damn it! So, tell me why you did it! If you don't...then get out." Zim shoved Dib away, waiting.

_Dib's eyes widened but he kept quiet, knowing yelling would only make it worse. He couldn't help it that humans had more emotions that blood thirsty Irkens. Frowning he stood up and glared. "You're precious Tallest hate you, your whole planet hates you just like mine! You're here because no one wants you alright? I'm sick of trying to tell you this!" His hands clenched at his sides. "And stop treating me so horribly! Humans have emotions unlike you! I liked you better when you were dying!" Dib felt out of breath but he needed to get that out, it made him feel a lot better actually. "If you say anything stupid next time you won't wake up. Your leaders might hate you but they'd love me if I offered your dead body." That was a little harsh...he didn't really mean that._

Zim stared down at the floor. Not moving, not breathing. Minutes passed in silence. The only sounds machinery humming, and Dib's heavy breathing. Finally, Zim's voice broke it. "Get out."

_Dib almost said something stupid but decided against it at the last second. He turned on his heel and walked in front of the elevator. When he turned around he couldn't tell if Zim was mad or not. The fact that he hadn't barked the statement as a demand was odd. Maybe he really finally understood. He was mad still sure but that didn't stop him from asking. "Are you ok...?"_

Zim spun around and flung a beaker of chemicals at Dib's big head. He picked up another and threw it. "GET OUT!" He screamed.

_Dib dodged it just barley. "Alright, fine. Cry all alone in your creepy lab while you wait for the planet to blow up." Dib rolled his eyes and went in the elevator, sighing when the doors closed. The planet blowing up was just a theory of what the Tallest would do. He was hoping he was wrong. When he got home he frowned when his computer was on but ignored it and lay on his bed._

Zim was panting and dropped to his knees. It-it couldn't be true. It wasn't. The Dib was trying to hurt him. He had succeeded. The utter pain of his words still reverted in him. He screamed, the trials of the day falling on him full force. He'd died. Stupid scalding tears had never broken the surface before today but,, now they didn't stop. Defect. Idiot. Moron. The voices infected his mind. "No. No. No." Zim hissed, clutching his head. Disgrace. Worthless. Defect. Zim whimpered, collapsing. "NO! NO! NO!" He cried, wanting the names, the accusations to go away. 'You're precious Tallest hate you, your whole planet hates you just like mine! You're here because no one wants you alright? I'm sick of trying to tell you this!' "NO!" He screamed, his voice lost in the depths of his lab where no one could hear him.

_Gir walked in, trying to be quiet but his disguise squeaked softly against the floor. "Don't be sad master... He'll come back and play soon." Gir smiled; his innocence or ignorance showing proudly in his big blue eyes. The robot hugged Zim tightly. "He loves you lots. When he comes back I'll make a ton o waffles an we can eat 'em and be like a cute little piggy family." He giggled. Gir never had been capable of being serious for very long._

Zim was caught between strangling the robot and cuddling it. "Go away Gir." Zim whispered. "I don't want to play with you right now." He murmured.

_"But you's look so sad." Gir tilted his head and nuzzled Zim's side. "Waffles would make you happy, super happy. What kinda wafflez should I make?"_

Zim glared at Gir. "None!" he barked. "I don't want any waffles. Now go away."

_Gir whined and his antennae drooped. "M'kay... I'll make you some later then." Gir walked away and pulled a plush pig out of his head with a giggle before fading into the depths of the lab. Dib was staring at the monitor with a frown. He'd have to call eventually or the Tallest would get suspicious. He could just lie and say he wasn't able to do it today. It would buy him time at least._

Zim watched Gir walk away, before laying his head back down, Dib's words in his mind. Tallest Red was lounging about like always, quite focused on his soda and not so much anything else.

_Dib took a deep breath and walked over to his computer. He hit a few buttons before the connection opened. He was trying to act calm but it was difficult given the situation and what had just happened. "Hi again."_

Red looked up nonchalantly, and smirked. "Hello."

_Dib frowned, did Red know already? "What's the face for?"_

Red gasped. "There's a face? Where?" he looked all over, even in his cup.

_Dib smiled slightly. "I meant why were you making that facial expression."_

"Oh...I always grin when someone pops up on my screen." He popped an ice cube into his mouth. "It's a habit."

_"Weird habit." Dib leaned back in the chair trying to relax. He rubbed at his eyes since they were still bothering him._

Red sucked on the ice cube and stared at Dib. "What's wrong?"

_"Nothing. My eyes are just itchy." Dib put his hand down._

"Oh. Weird. So, are you going to tell me how your day went or just sit there admiring my amazingness?" he asked.

_"Well the second one is pretty tempting actually." Dib saw Purple frown in the background. He hovered over with a bag of donuts so he wouldn't miss the conversation._

Red smiled, stretching. "Oh really? Tell me Dib...do you swing the other way?" Red knew that Pur was standing near by. They had planned this carefully and he didn't want to miss it.

_Dib blinked in confusion. Swing made him think of a swing set but he didn't think Irkens would have playgrounds. "What do you mean by swing?" He felt stupid for even asking. Somehow he knew it would be something obvious, or something he didn't want to know._

Red laughed, and waited for Dib to admit he knew. But, after a few minutes he realized that the human really had no idea. "It means...are you gay?" He asked, sipping away.

_Dib blushed. "Why would you ask something like that...?" His voice almost cracked and it made his blush darker. Purple looked amused and Dib had to hold back a whine. They were just messing with him._

"Oh I don't know. I told you your options and you said you would prefer to look upon my amazingness." Red shrugged. "Oh well. I can see I'm wrong. Was your day that horrible?"

_"Well I can't help that I find aliens fascinating." Dib frowned, that sounded weird in context. "I don't like anyone if that's what you meant; I've never been in a relationship." He sighed and calmed down a bit. "There was just a lot of yelling. I got it off but he got it back before...well...you know."_

"Ahhh.." Red said, staring at Dib. "I see. That is a problem." he looked towards Purple. "Now what are we going to do?"

_Dib seemed nervous as he waited for Purple to say something. Said Tallest grinned. "I think you made him nervous Red. Poor thing is almost shaking."_

Red sipped. "Oh. I'm sorry." he apologized to the human. "I didn't mean to upset you, Dib. I was just curious as to how we were gonna rid the universe of the idiot now. After all I'm afraid we can't use you for this anymore. He would suspect you of it."

_"Last time you said you wouldn't change how you talked to me yet you're being nice." Dib couldn't help but be suspicious, it was in his nature. Purple rolled his eyes. "Says the human who was going to kill Zim today." Dib flinched at the words and looked down. He had killed Zim, just not indefinitely._

Red snorted, "Relax, human. Would you rather have me yell and scream at you? Because I can do that."

_Dib shook his head. "Sorry. I'm a little on edge I guess." Purple let his arms fall around Red's neck. "Well you're being awfully nice, how sweet." He rolled his eyes which meant he wasn't buying Dib's sob story at all._

Red wasn't either, but he was curious. "So, it went smoothly up until he got his Pak back?"

_Dib nodded. He couldn't tell if they believed him or not. Red just seemed genuinely curious._

"Hmm...how far into the time did he get it back on?" Red asked, twining his hand with Purple's.

_Dib frowned. "I don't know. I didn't have a timer or anything." That was a lie, he was counting down the whole time._

"Mmhmm." Red hummed, disbelievingly. He looked up at Purple and grinned. "Dib...you like space travel don't you?"

_Purple smiled and stroked Red's antennae with his free hand. "Well I've only done it once but I didn't have time to enjoy it since I was trying to chase Zim. I do like it though. Why?"_

Red twisted his hands together. "We have a few open spots on the massive. And you've been especially helpful. Think of it as payment, a reward of sorts. Or maybe even an alliance with your planet. Would you like to come aboard? You can study the constellations and we have the best scientists here who can teach you everything you've ever wanted to know. What do you say?"

_"But I haven't even done anything... Unless distracting Zim for a few years counts. I don't think I deserve a reward for that." He would feel guilty since he lied anyway. Dib smiled a bit. "I'd just take up space anyway. Your scientists have better things to do instead of teaching an alien random stuff about space. Plus I know quite a few constellations. Then again our resources are limited." Dib shrugged. Purple didn't look too happy. He left the donuts with Red and walked away. "Is he okay?"_

Red sighed and watched him walk away. "Yes. He's fine."

_"He's look annoyed since he saw me." Dib frowned. "Are you sure there isn't something wrong? If he hates me I don't have to call..." He wouldn't mind that at all. Sure he'd miss Red but he'd rather not get killed or something. Miss Red? That didn't sound right...the swinging thing was just messing with his head._

Red watched Pur walk away. 'Don't worry, my mate. I'll get you your toy.' He turned back to Dib. "It's fine. He's just..."Red tried to think of an excuse. "Upset because all the sugar doughnuts are gone." He nodded and smiled at Dib reassuringly.

_"Not having donuts makes him that upset?" Dib thought about it for a minute. "I guess that makes sense. Every time I see him he's eating donuts." He shrugged. "At least it's an easy fix if you can make more."_

Red knew that when the doughnuts were gone, Pur was practically manic. This was bad just not nearly so. "Yes. We'll get another delivery tomorrow. Anyway...Dib," Red smiled, seductively. "Are you sure that you don't wish to come on board the Massive? I really wish that you would." He said; eyes heavy lidded. Red wasn't above using the poor boy's confused hormones as an advantage.

_Dib blushed and slid down in his chair on reflex to hide slightly. He messed with his bangs idly to try hiding the blush. "Why do you want me there so bad...? I'd just be in the way." He needed an excuse. "Plus I need water anyway and you don't have that." That was actually pretty good considering he wasn't thinking very well at the moment._

Red yawned, stretching. He made sure that he showed just how tall he was. He tried to reveal as much green skin as possible too. "Oh, because even though you failed at killing Zim...I still find you very useful..." He purred the word. "And loyal for at least attempting. You do realize that as the most powerful rulers in the universe we can easily carry water with us for as long as you need it. Please Dib." Red pled, red eyes wide and begging.

_Dib might be young and not well versed in the topic of seduction but he had a good eye for things and knew something was off. Either way he wasn't thinking well so maybe it was just his imagination? He frowned and looked down at a monitor next to him. "But you said you have the best scientists and you probably have the best of everything on your ship already. There couldn't be something for me to be useful for unless it was just being there." Even though that's exactly what he was wanted for but like he knew that Purple liked keeping toys? If Dib knew he probably wouldn't have called in the first place cause that's creepy. He forced a smile to seem calm, "You look so desperate. Especially to carry water. That burns you ya know. A lot."_

Red sighed. "Yes I know. You are a human. An undiscovered species. You could tell us more about your kind. It's merely that we wished to reward you. Not every Irken is as crazy and cruel as Zim, you know?" He paused. "Look if you don't want to come just say so." he looked away, acting his best as he could to looked dejected and disappointed.

_Dib whined. "I didn't mean it like that... I just thought you were only saying it to be nice or something but really didn't want me there." He looked away. Sure he wanted to go but he knew he couldn't. But he really, really wanted to go, and Red wasn't helping of course. "Sorry...It's just a big step to up and leave everything I know. Can I think about it for a day or two?"_

Red smiled, hopefully calmly and comfortingly. "Of course, Dib. Take all the time you need."

_Dib sighed in relief. "Alright...thanks. I'll let you go. Purple probably needs someone to talk to. Tell him I said hi and I'll call back soon."_

Red smirked. "Oh, no problem. Have a pleasant evening, Dib." He said, before disconnecting . His soft smile turned to a full blown evil grin. He would have the human yet.

_Dib sighed as the connection faded and turned his computer off. He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling for awhile. Zim probably wouldn't go to school tomorrow so Dib was considering checking on the Irken tomorrow. He probably needed someone to vent on. In the morning he woke up early and went to Zim's house. Dib wasn't planning on going to school since no one would miss him anyway. He snuck past the gnomes and got inside. "Zim? Gir?"_

Zim ignored the sound the computer made when someone entered the area around his base; it was probably just a squirrel monster. He was lying in the middle of his lab. Only the lab didn't appear to be a lab any longer. Zim vaguely remembered destroying everything. Using his Pak legs to tear into metal and laser beams to shoot at computers, chemicals, tables and other objects. Wires and warped pieces of metal were strewn everywhere. It was a wonder the computer alerting him was in one piece. Zim was bleeding from handling the glass and metal, throwing them at walls. It was a mess. He was a mess. He didn't know why he did it. All he knew was that Dib's words never left him. They just kept replaying until he felt he would go mad. The human had to be lying. He did that often but, something inside him kept telling Zim otherwise. Instead of crying and whimpering like a worm baby, he let the destruction over take him.

_Dib couldn't find Gir anywhere and usually the robot was greeting, tackling, or offering him waffles by now. Sighing he went in the elevator. He was hoping Zim didn't take his anger out on the little guy like he usually did. Gir was too innocent to get it either way but it was still cruel. When the elevator doors opened they creaked a bit, something blocking them from opening all the way. Dib looked down and saw a large wire, which he recognized was from the ceiling of the lab. He took a deep breath before looking up; knowing he wouldn't like what he was going to see. If he didn't know any better he would think he wasn't even in Zim's lab other than the familiar colors. It looked like a hurricane ripped everything to shreds. Dib saw him lying on the floor in a small pool of blood and went over quickly. "Zim...are you awake...?" He wasn't very good at dealing with wounds and he wished he was. Dib pulled Zim up, careful of his injuries, and leaned him up against part of the computer that was still semi alright._

Zim gasped at being lifted up on his own accord, claws preparing to shred whatever had dared touched him. But, the familiar voice and scent had him growling. He was finally feeling all his wounds, just standing was hard thing to do but, he managed. Zim stared at the pale, skinny boy. Seeing the concern replacing the hate in his eyes, made something horrible twinge inside of him. "Dib-Smell...what are you doing in my...lab!" Zim looked around wondering if he could even call it that anymore. Then he remembered the child's question. "Does it seem as if the Almighty ZIIIM is asleep? I don't sleep anyways, so it's an idiotic question."

_"You should sleep anyway, it's not healthy to do all-nighters all the time." Dib sighed. "I'm in your lab to check on you and your hate-filled rampage, which seemed to be huge and bigger than I expected." The boy looked down before wrapping his arms around Zim loosely but more as a comfort than anything. "You're lab has seen better days but at least you're alright. Do you want to talk?" Dib's body was slightly tensed since he was just waiting for Zim to get enraged again and attack him._

Zim was tensed as well, but from the sensations in his system. A warm warmy goo was invading his chest. Why was the human...hugging him? It was...weird. Zim's eyes narrowed. "Dib...-Human, let me go. Now." He commanded but, not as loud or obnoxious as usual. He felt the need to stay in the boy's arms but...there was that...hurt? Yes, it was hurt. From what the boy did and said to him. That and that alone was enough to make him want to rip the human to shreds. But, curiosity kept him from doing so. "I can pull nights all I wish. And I don't want to talk. Not with you."

_The surprise of not being attacked could be heard in his voice. "You don't have anyone else to talk to, and you seem to hate Gir even more than me most of the time." Dib let go and held his own arm awkwardly. "You should really do something about your wounds, they'll get infected." He mumbled quietly. If he knew where the medical supplies were he'd have gotten them himself._

Zim spared a glance at his wounds. They weren't that bad. "They'll heal." He refused to show weakness to the human, after yesterday. Zim didn't let the Dib at his back either. "I need no one to talk to. I am fine with that as well. Even if I did...your the last person on Earth, Irk and this entire universe that Zim would speak with."

_For some reason that statement hurt him. Dib's grip on his arm tightened and he had a scowl on his face though he was still upset. He tried to hide it though. If Zim was still going to be like this than he shouldn't care what happens to him. "You know what, fine. When I'm on the massive you won't ever have to see my stupid big head ever again." Dib walked back to the elevator and slammed his fist into the button that would lead him back to the house level. He didn't care about Zim. Not one bit._

Zim growled, and lunged at Dib forgetting too late that he was injured. He fell to the ground in a pile of metal and glass. Zim cussed openly in English and Irken. Pain echoed through him. He hoped that Dib had already gone and hadn't seen how stoopid and clumsy he was. Because it would be a weakness he couldn't afford. It wasn't Zim's fault he fell of course. It was Dib's. It was always his fault whenever something bad happened.

_Dib leaned back against the elevator while he waited. There really wasn't anything left for him here. Red had offered him the universe and what was here? Nothing but hurt. Zim was so stupid and blind. The idiot should realize that Dib was the only one knowing what he was going through. That didn't matter anymore though. He shook his head to clear the thoughts away and walked back to his house slowly, deep in thought._

Zim watched as Dib walked away, anger fueling his system. And confusion. What did the massive have to do with anything? He pulled himself out of the pile of rubble of metal, ignoring the pain. He was tempted to run after Dib, stop him and maybe give in...talk to him. But Zim's pride was an unlimited thing. The human wanted to leave? Let him.

_When Dib got home he let himself in with a frown, knowing no one would be home. He went up to his room and laid on his bed feeling exhausted. His head just hurt. Dib put the pillow over his head and decided to rest for awhile. When he woke up he'd call the Tallest back and see what he had to do to get on the massive. Until then he'd just let sleep wash over him._

Zim watched as his wounds healed themselves. Only the pain in his chest remained. He looked down expecting to find a nasty cut or bruise that wouldn't heal but, saw nothing. He rubbed the spot, wondering why on irk it wouldn't dissipate. He would run a diagnostic later. Until then, he looked around at the horrible mess. "COMPUTER! Clean this up." Zim commanded, and walked to his elevator. Going back up, Zim called for Gir. "Gir...I need you to do something for your master."

_Gir ran over happily and stopped in front of Zim. He saluted and turned red, momentarily in duty mode. "Yes?"_

Zim sighed, knowing that it wouldn't be there for long so he better talk fast. "Go to the Dib's home unit and spy on him. Find out as much about him and his recent activities as possible. You got that, Gir?"

_"Yes Sir." Gir's hand fell and he smiled. "Then I can makes you some waffles!" Gir jumped up and his rockets activated before he flew out excitedly and went to Dib's house. Dib, being the paranormal investigator that he was, had saved all of the Tallest's conversations onto a CD. Gir found it labeled 'important' so grabbed it and took it back. He smiled proudly and held up the CD to Zim when he was back in the lab. "He was sleeping! Looked super tired. There was a backpack with a bunch of dress-up stuff too." Gir had a weird vocabulary for most things, dress-up just meant clothes and waffles meant any kind of food._

Zim nodded, and took the CD from the SIR unit. He popped the CD into the television, curious. The sight he beheld...Dib talking rationally with his Tallest. The Tallest accepting him easily enough. Asking him to come aboard the Massive. Then...the way that Tallest Red, talked and moved. It was made to seduce. From Dib's voice it was working. Zim's claws bit into the sofa he was sitting in. He was hyperventilating, eyes twitching. Dib was considering leaving Earth. Dib had a bag packed full of human clothes. He was going to leave then...wasn't he? Zim couldn't stop him. He wasn't Dib's keeper or master. He shook with the force of his shock and hurt. Not only were the Tallest inviting a human there...they made fun of him openly. Said that Zim's mission was a lie. It was more truthful than ever hearing it come from his leader's mouths. After panicking for an hour and watching the tape over and over again, Zim began to notice things. The eye contact between Tallest and their body language that spoke of treachery. They were planning something. It made no sense for them to want Dib. No sense. Unless...Zim's eyes widened, everything coming to a halt.

_When Dib woke up an hour or so later he walked around his house to just take it all in since he'd probably never be back. It's not like it held any good memories, it was just the only place he could call home. He went back into his room and booted the computer up. Gathering up any and all of his alien findings that were worth seeing, he sent them to Agent Darkbooty in an e-mail and just said good luck. He hadn't been able to use it but maybe someone else could, or not, he didn't really care anymore it just felt like some closure. Dib leaned back in his chair and started up the connection with the Tallest, waiting for their end to pick up the signal._

Red stroked Purple's antennae, "See? He's calling now. It's going to be fine, Pur. You'll get your toy, just watch."

_Purple purred. "Mhmm. He'll be yours too, I promised I'd share." He grinned, "Plus a worker told me about your methods to convince him, you sure you don't loveeee him?"_

Red laughed. "Spying on me now, Pur? That sounds like you. Why would I ever be attracted to that alien scum? I'm not a xenophile. I only love you, Smeets."

_"Either way it'd be a fun way to play with him." Purple shrugged as the connection started. Dib waved half-heartedly._

"Hello, Dib. How are you?" Red asked, forcing concern into his voice. It would be sweet when he no longer had to act nice.

_"Fine.. I was wondering if I had to do anything before coming."_

Red grinned, sipping from a, you guessed it, Irken soda. "I'm glad to hear that you're accompanying us. Hmm...not that I know of. Say your goodbyes. Pack some of your necessities." He turned to Purple. "Can you think of anything?"

_Purple just shook his head. He wasn't as good at acting and playing nice like Red was and didn't want to ruin their progress with the human. It was just easier for him to shut up. "So are you in the area then? How would I get there?"_

"Oh. Do you have any Irken technology near you?" Red asked.

_"Not at the moment. Do I need to find something?"_

Red twirled Pur's antennae around his finger. "Yes. If you do we can just find your signal and teleport you here using the Massive's energy."

_Purple closed his eyes and started purring again. "That's convenient. Can it be something small? I have Tak's ship downstairs if it needs to be bigger."_

Red smiled contently, watching Purple. "No. Anything's fine. As long as it's Irken."

_Dib got up and went to his closet, looking for something of Zim's that wasn't broken. Once he found something he turned it on and sat back down, grabbing his bag next to him. "Is this alright?"_

"Yes. That's fine." Red smiled, knowing that victory was in reach. A block away Zim was frantically trying to reach Dib. But, the idiot was probably talking to them. Stupid naive boy for believing them. Stupid, idiot boy for ignoring Zim. Stupid...for making his chest ache. "Answer me, human. Before it's too late..."

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><p>AN: I really didn't expect this to get so many hits so quickly.. Two reviews in one day for this chapter. I'm going to post at least a chapter per day until I get caught up with what I have. Reviews will make me post more and will help me remember to post...I'm quite forgetful with regular updates. I'm horrible with naming chapters...didn't have to do it before so have to re-read to come up with something decent... Soooo~ I hope you like this chapter. P.S. beware of moodswings. I promise they have a point later on. Rates and reviews are loved. Any comments on the plot, format, or even questions about the story, are also appreciated.


	4. Laughter

_Dib frowned, feeling like he'd forgotten something. He set the device down. "I'll be right back." Dib got up quickly and walked out of his room and glanced around to see if something would catch his eye; nothing did. He sighed and shook his head. "Nothing bad is going to happen." Dib mumbled to himself before turning to go back to his room._

A rock broke a nearby window, hitting the human on his large head. Zim, out of breath, was preparing to throw another one.

_"Ow!" Dib winced and held his head. He looked down and picked the rock up before going to the window. "Go back and mope at your stupid excuse for a base!" Dib threw the rock back angrily but missed since he hadn't paid too much attention to his aim._

Zim watched dryly as the rock missed him by at least four feet. "Dib-Monkey, cease being a moron for ten seconds and think about what you're doing." Zim knew that he could throw the other rock, in fact the only thing that stopped him was the relief that the human hadn't left yet.

_"Check in a mirror you moron! All I've done is try to help you and explain things to you!" Dib's eyes were filled with hate like they used to be. He couldn't care about Zim anymore or it would just hurt him so he just went with hate. It was much easier that way. "I have places to be so screw off." Dib turned around._

Zim growled, this time throwing the other rock. "I will not screw off. Just...talk to me. It's of vital importance!" He tried to ignore the hate in Dib's eyes. He hadn't noticed how it had stopped being hate a long time ago.

_Dib faced him with a growl and leaned on the window frame. "Oh now doesn't that sound familiar? How many times have I said that do you think? I lost count. And do you remember what you did every single time I said it? You screamed and attacked me. Why should I act any more civil than you've been towards me?"_

Zim stomped his foot. "You are human. I am not. I don't understand some of the things you do! This is different because I am the one saying it to you. If it wasn't important, do you think I would have given up my pride to run here and beg to speak with you?" He glared at the human with disguised eyes. "No. I know what you've been doing. It's dangerous. You have no idea what you're doing, Dib-Human. You don't know them. How lethal they are. How...convincing and they are. So, listen to Zim now, before I disconnect your electricity."

_"You wouldn't give up your stupid pride for anything. You hate me and have gone to extreme lengths to make that very clear. I know it's dangerous but I don't care, I can do whatever I want, just like you." Dib grinned. "Maybe I wanted to be convinced. I've always hated being here anyway and they offered me a way out." He rolled his eyes. "Oh and if cutting the power would make you happy then go nuts. All I need to do is start up an Irken weapon and they'll teleport me onboard right now if I wanted. So if there's some retarded reason you're trying to keep me here for, then I suggest trying just a bit harder."_

Zim glared. "They'll use you." He said, menace in his voice. "Make you believe you're worth it. That you're special and that no one else in the universe could be the same as you. You're on top of the world, more than ready to sacrifice anything for them. Anything from your own life...to thousands of others." He stared at the ground. "Then they rip it from you. Then your lower than the lowest and a joke." He stared into Dib's eyes again. "You know what they did to me. It's because I'm a Defect." He choked on the word, hating the way it sounded from his mouth. "You're a human. Less than I. I know what their secret looks mean. I went to the Academy with them." Zim wanted to be up there yelling it all in his face but, for now this would have to do. "I don't hate you." he whispered. "But, I don't like you either. We're enemies, for better or worse. And it's my duty to keep you protected. To fight another day." Zim was silent. The annoying sound of crickets and traffic in his antennae.

_Dib's hard exterior faltered for a moment and he smiled sadly before the anger came right back. "Use me? How do you think I feel every day of my life? Everyone uses me for their enjoyment, including you. I've never been anything so even if they're lying it's better than what I have now. They can't hurt me physically or emotionally more than you, or someone else, has already done. I don't need you trying to act as if you care or know what you're talking about. You were living in ignorance your entire life while I had to face what I was. I'm as low as I can get. At least if I went with them I'd be in space, that's all I've ever really wanted." Dib frowned, ever since he was a kid that was the only thing he ever asked for. If his dad cared he could have helped him with that dream. He growled. "I don't need your opinion of me because you're no better than the Tallest. All you've ever done is lie to me, and yourself. And I don't need you 'protecting' me. Don't you get it? I don't want to fight you anymore!" Dib clenched his fists. "If you want the Earth then take it...I don't care."_

Zim felt as if he'd been slapped. Then gut punched and thrown down a cliff. With alligators at the bottom. He whispered, hoping none of the pain was in his words. "I never lie to you. I'm honest. Maybe brutally so. When I offered to be your partner...I was truthful. Maybe I lie to myself...but, what would you do? I'm at least ten times older than you. So what, you're the lowest you can get? You've only suffered for a few years." Zim clenched his hands into fists. "Your wrong when you say they can't hurt you worse...I've seen it before. There's nothing left of the people they decide to play with. Dib..." For the first time, Zim didn't tack on an insult after the name. "I'm asking you...begging you, don't leave. Don't go with them." He took off his wig and eye contacts, in the openness of the suburbs. "Fight me. Protect the Earth." Zim bit his lip. "You say I'm not giving up my pride. That I never would. But, just not insulting your name is a huge step for me." He stared up at Dib, afraid of what he would say.

_Dib's harsh gaze softened as Zim spoke, his resolve fading. He didn't even know what to say. Normally he did all the intelligent talking and Zim just screamed to get his point across. His voice was surprisingly soft though and between that and hearing his name it hurt him. It made him think of when Zim said it right before he 'died'. Maybe what Dib said really had meant something for once, that Zim accepted it and would maybe be more open now. He wasn't lying before though. Dib hated living on Earth and he hated fighting Zim. Both had been taking a toll on him and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. It was worse knowing how similar they were. They should get along and help each other, not try to kill each other for a worthless planet of horrible humans. Dib sighed and opened the window all the way. He jumped out and landed gracefully like a cat, close to Zim. "That still isn't good enough." Though Dib wasn't angry anymore, he still wanted to leave. He didn't expect Zim to be able to offer anything that would make him willing to stay. He stared at Zim quietly._

Zim hissed as Dib landed next to him. "What else do you want? I admitted you were right. I'm standing in the middle of your neighborhood where you can expose me. Zim said your name without an insult." Zim stomped around. "What more is there, human?"

_"That's all great Zim, do you want a pat on the back for having emotions and a brain? I just told you I don't want to fight you anymore so that also means I wouldn't expose you." Dib sighed. "You're too dense to even understand what I want."_

Zim growled. "I may be Defective, but I'm not stupid. I'm sick and fucking tired of being called a moron, an idiot. I'm not. Like I said before, I'm not human. How the hell am I supposed to know what one wants? All I want is to be an Invader. To have my enemy back. For everything to be normal again. I don't know what you want, Dib. You need to tell the stupid alien."

_"Reality check Zim. You aren't an invader. And I'm not your enemy. This is our prison." Dib started tapping the point of his boot again, it was starting to become like a nervous habit. "All I want is something worth living for. Something that only I can do and do well. I want to be understood and praised, just like you. And from my understanding I can't get what I want anywhere so I might as well be miserable in space." The concept seemed stupid and cliché but Dib was completely serious._

Zim watched the boot go up and down on the grass. "Dib...you're a great fighter. Stubborn to the core. It's admirable. I admire you for it. In ways you would be a great Irken. But, then again your emotions would get in the way too much." Zim crossed his arms over his chest. "Zim, has no choice but, to keep his emotions inside. We all do. If something bad happens, do you know what we do?" Zim paused. "We carry on. We refuse to die. There is no being miserable and wanting to die. If it all goes wrong you just keep going. And going. I'm not an Invader." He said; which hurt more than anything else. "But, I know that I can be. I'll keep trying. Over and over and over, if Zim has to." He stared into Dib's honey colored eyes. "You can be a Paranormal Investigator. I believe in you. Zim believes in you." He paused, grinning. "I bet no one's ever told you that besides the horrible Dwicky beast. But, it's true."

_"That would be great if I cared. I already am a great Paranormal Investigator; people just don't see it that way. I know that humans are too stupid to comprehend what's around them, I should have been born an Irken." Dib stopped his foot since it was doing him more harm than good. "I have been carrying on and I'm not saying I want to die. I've just realized that my expectations for humanity were too high and they won't change. You're an invader but not like you want to be. You want to prove yourself to your race and they're just as bad as mine." Dib frowned. "I don't care if my emotions 'get in the way' or hold me back. I'd rather feel anything than be dead inside." He looked down and glared. "Don't even get me started on Dwicky."_

Zim was beginning to realize this was a lost cause. The place between his eyebrows furrowed. "You know what Dib; if you want to leave, leave. I...I think I will to." He bit out, turning on his heel, snatching up his disguise. "Have fun on the Massive. Being torn to shreds sounds like a great time. Maybe you'll even get some special treatment like rape, from the way Red was looking at you." Zim stared once more at Dib. "Thanks for fighting with me. For being a worthy enemy." He popped his contacts in, set the wig on top of his head, over his antennae. "I might see you around sometime. If not..." He shrugged. "Have a good life." It hurt more than Dib would ever know to say these things but, he would never know and that was the point.

_Dib's whole body felt numb as he fell to his knees. He couldn't even say anything as he watched Zim's back. The Pak caught his eye. Even after he had tried to kill Zim he was trying to help him. It didn't make sense. He felt the tears start up, a mix of hopelessness and anger. Zim's words hurt more than any blow could have and they kept repeating in his head. "Don't..." He barely managed to speak even the simple word and he reached his hand out weakly before letting it fall again._

Zim wanted to keep walking. To keep going like he always had. To be the cold, hard Invader who was more than happy to hurt Dib. He was already halfway down the street after all with his pride intact. But he couldn't help but look back once. Dib was on his knees. Zim stared back at him. "What?" he whispered, eyes narrowed. "What do you fucking want?" He yelled, his chest contracting and aching in a way it never had before.

_Dib flinched at the harsh tone. He'd already lost his chance. He took his glasses off since he couldn't really see anyway. It looked like he wanted to say something but something else was stopping him. He wanted to tell Zim everything. How he really wanted to stay and go back to how things were and how scared he was of what the Tallest would do if he didn't come but he couldn't. Dib looked up at Zim and offered a small smile that held more emotions than he could describe. Like that one smile could explain everything for him. He knew it couldn't._

Zim sighed. Looked back at the empty road ahead of him and back at the eye lenseless Dib. He saw the small smile, a smile that spoke of fear and regret. The human didn't need to say anything. Zim turned around and walked back to Dib, eyes never leaving him. He dropped to his own knees in front of the human, not saying a word.

_Dib looked surprised that Zim actually turned around. He picked up his arm and rubbed his face with his sleeve. His cheeks were a light pink between all the emotions and the fact that deep down he really didn't want Zim seeing him this defenseless. It wasn't even that they were supposed to be enemies, he just felt bad because Zim handled everything so much better than he did._

Zim's eyes were heavy lidded, and he reached out and picked up a stray tear on the edge of his glove. "Dib." He whispered, trying to put everything into the name. The fear for him. The strange emotions that made Zim afraid to do anything. The price of being strong never had felt so high. "Why are you crying?" he asked, his squeedely spooch twisting.

_"You don't understand... If I don't go they'll still find a way to get me and it would make things worse. And that would mean they'd have to come here which would mean they'd find you, then they'd kill you and you'd be dead and I'd still be gone." Dib was desperate and forgot to breathe while he was talking. His face turned multiple shades before he remembered he needed air and gasped to fill his lungs. "You of all people should know what they can do and how far they'd go to get what they want...Every time Purple came on screen it was like he wanted to grab me through the monitor and..." Dib frowned. "I don't even know what..." He shivered slightly._

Zim watched, as the human's face changed colors. Relived when it returned to normal he murmured, "Dib...I'm used to being hated. To being hunted." He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Dib's. "Don't go. I'll protect you. If they come then we can fight them together." He whispered. "I know them better than they know me. It will be fine."

_"I don't want to be the cause for you being hunted..." Dib frowned. It was one thing to ruin his own life but he couldn't do that to someone else. "Enemies don't protect each other." He mumbled quietly._

"Shut up." He said. "They would come for me anyway." Zim ran his claws through Dib's hair, admiring the scythe lock. "You said yourself that we weren't enemies anymore."

_Dib whined and found it hard to not move away from the touch. It didn't hurt or anything, it just felt weird. "Then what are we?" He had a feeling he's regret asking that._

"How am I supposed to know? I wanted to be enemies. You said no. So now...we're nothing." Zim hissed, glaring. Not because he was mad but, because he couldn't seem to help himself from touching the human. What the hell was that?

_Dib looked down, thinking the anger was towards him. It just made him more confused because Zim was so close. "If we were nothing you wouldn't be here...or touching me..."_

Zim wanted to jerk away but, he didn't. "Your right." then he realized what he said. "Don't get used to me saying that."

_Dib frowned before getting an idea. He pushed Zim over on the ground and pinned him down. "This more to your liking?" Dib knew exactly what he was doing and what it meant but it still didn't bother him because Zim would just be extremely confused. "Humans are…I guess you'd call it 'touchy'. I can't help it."_

"Dib-human! What are you doing?" Zim screeched. "Off Zim! Now!" He put his hands on Dib's shoulders to try and get him off. Zim didn't know if this was what all humans did after crying or if it was just unique to the Dib-Thing.

_"You said I couldn't be affectionate but I still wanted to touch you. You're the one who wanted this." Dib smiled lightheartedly, the fear and hate mostly gone from his eyes. "I'm not doing anything bad. But I could be."_

Zim's forehead furrowed. "What the hell are you talking about? Doing something bad? Have you the brain worms?" Zim jerked, trying to buck Dib off of him. "Release me now!"

_Dib's smile grew until he started laughing. He got off of Zim and lay down on the ground as well just laughing. He had pictured kissing Zim and the Irken's face in his head was just too funny. So funny that he didn't even realize how weird the thought really was._

Zim's eye twitched as he watched the human laugh and laugh. It wasn't evil laughter or smug. It was real and pure. His laughter rang out through the empty neighborhood and in Zim's soul. He was tempted to ask why Dib was laughing, but got the impression that he didn't want to know. Instead he just observed, wondering when the laughing would end. Or even if Zim wanted it to stop. It was a nice sound that he realized wasn't heard that often. He would just let Dib laugh it out.

_Dib eventually stopped when his sides started to hurt. He couldn't even remember the last time he could just laugh about something. It always made him feel better though. He turned to face Zim and tried to force back another bout of laughter, which ended up being small giggles. Zim's confused face made it funny too but he didn't want his side to hurt so he held back the urge. "Sorry about that."_

"Whatever, Dibbeh." Zim scoffed. "You were laughing and I'm not sure I want to know why." He shook his head and laid his head down in the grass, his wig slightly slipping off. Zim's eyes always drew to the tiny pink dot, right smack in the middle of the sky.

_"Who knows, you might have actually liked it." Dib shrugged and pulled Zim's wig off. "Take the contacts off." The disguise always bothered him because he really liked Zim's eyes, though he'd never admit it. They were so simple and complex at the same time._

Zim sat up and removed the contacts, putting them in his Pak. Then he lay back down, and stared at Dib. "Why did you want me to take my contacts off?" He reached his hand forward and pushed a lock of hair out of Dib's face, wanting to see those eyes on him.

_"No reason. There's just no one around and I know you don't like having them on." Dib rolled onto his side to see him better, causing more hair to go in his face. "You could have kept them on if you wanted."_

Zim glared at the pieces of hair. "No. I like them off." He gently removed the pieces of hair from Dib's face, promising himself that if they went into his face one more time he would smack the hairs away. "Keep your hair out of your face, Diblet."

_Dib smiled. "Why? Is my hair your new enemy?" He watched Zim's hand move around his face and he had to stop himself from wanting to take the glove again._

Zim growled, evilly. "Yes, yes it is." He reached into his pack and pulled out tape.

_Dib's eyes widened. "Not funny." He grabbed the tape and moved it far away from Zim. "That would pull my hair out and hurt, a lot."_

Zim gnashed his teeth as Dib stole his tape. "Gimme my tape." Zim whined, reaching for it across Dib's body. He pouted.

_"Not if you're planning to use it on me." Dib grabbed Zim's hand and intertwined their fingers. "No tape."_

Zim stared down at their hands, which while Zim had three finger and Dib five, they seemed to fit perfectly. He swallowed and looked up at the human. "Then keep it out of your face and I won't use it."

_"Ok fine." Dib sighed before frowning. "The connection is still online..." His hand fell and slid out of Zim's with the realization. "Should I say something to them...?"_

Zim's eyes widened it had been at least twenty minutes. He could just imagine the Tallest as their faces changed from smug, confused, impatient and then angry. "You can if you want. I don't control you." Zim said stiffly, standing.

_Dib stood up as well. "Well you said you know them oh so well so inform me all great knower of things." He frowned, only really sarcastic when he was mad or worried._

Zim spun and glared at Dib. "Fine. They're going to be mad as hell for being kept so long. They might be deadly calm but, their seething inside. They might take you anyway, even if you say you don't want to go. That is...if you're still going then by all means talk to them." He was breathing too hard, fists clenched and he felt the sharp pain of his claws and the warmth of his own spilled blood.

_Dib looked offended. "I said I wouldn't go...I trust your judgment. That's why I'm asking you what I should do." He noticed Zim was bleeding and sighed. "Calm down, I promise I'm not going anywhere." Dib grabbed Zim's hand and removed the glove. He ripped a bit of the bottom of his coat off and wrapped it around the Irken's hand to stop the bleeding._

Zim took a deep breathe, and waited while Dib wrapped up his hand. "You ripped your trench coat. Bad Dib..." Zim muttered, staring down at his naked hands. "I'm...s-sorry." He stuttered, not used to apologizing. "For overreacting. I don't want you hurt." He stared up at the window.

_Dib shrugged. "I have more than one and I sew them up all the time. They get abused during our fights." He kissed the top of the hand and smiled. "Now don't hurt yourself in the process."_

Zim looked at Dib suspiciously, taking his hand away and looking at it. He inspected it. Nothing. His eyes went from his claws to Dib, claws to Dib. Zim opened his mouth to ask, but closed it again. "Come on. Let's try to figure out what to do." he grumbled.

_Dib tilted his head and was disappointed when Zim didn't ask his question. He smiled, realizing it probably had to do with germs. "Alright. What's your amazing plan then?"_

Zim grinned and brought his hands together, twisting the fingers. "It's dangerous, messy, unorganized and there are many, many things that could go wrong."

_"Definitely sounds like your kind of plan. What is it? Keep in mind the longer we talk the more pissed off they'll be."_

Zim sighed. "Yes. I know. Look, just...don't let them take you. Talk to them. Assure them that tonight isn't the night. That you have more loose ends than you expected." he grinned, kinda sadly. "Then sign off. I'll meet you at my base, where I'll be monitoring it there. Alright?" he said, putting on his disguise again, blinking at the itchy contacts.

_Dib sighed. "When we have time I'm going to make you better contacts." He stretched with a mumbled before looking back towards the house. "Alright. I'll see you soon. Hopefully." The last part was an afterthought and was mumbled heavily as he walked inside. He tried to put on a blank face as he sat back in front of his computer. "Sorry that took so long."_

Zim watched the human walk inside and he ran like Glookshampleing Shmoots were chasing him. Sitting down at his computer he tapped into Dib's connection and was prepared to diffuse any transporters. Red sat unemotionally; he was on his second soda already. "What took you so long, Dib?"

_"There were some unseen complications. I thought I was ready today but I was wrong. You don't mind, do you?"_

Red tapped his foot and sighed. "No. But, we won't wait forever Dib." He said before he cut the connection.

_Purple groaned. "You suck at this Red!"_

"What? What was I supposed to say? You should try next time." He grumbled, mood sour.

_"If I 'tried' he'd already be here and screaming under my claws." Purple made grabby motions to show him choking an imaginary Dib._

Red stood up abruptly. "Then do it." He hissed, before floating away.

_Purple sighed and hurried after him. "You know I'm just on edge." He grabbed Red's hand._

Red took a deep breath and twined his finger's around Purples. "I know. I'm just mad because my plan didn't work."

_"Think the human is smart enough to be catching on?" Purple smiled at the accepted gesture. "Everyone else falls for your acting. Though the stretching was a little much for my taste."_

Red grinned, not being able to stay angry at Purple for any length of time. There was just something so...cute about how evil he was. "I don't know. We've never really had contact with humans before. They only fall for my acting because their morons, and you know that it helped us. Besides you get to see it all up close and it's real." He murmured the word real into Pur's antennae.

_Purple purred, having completely forgotten about Dib with just one simple action. "I hope that was an invitation...because if it wasn't I'm crashing your party anyway." He grinned and led Red to their room. Dib on the other hand had grabbed his bag of stuff, just in case, and walked to Zim's house, letting himself in the elevator and into the lab. "It looks a lot better already..."_

Zim was tapping frantically on the keyboard, using his chair to slide back and forth between computer and lab table. He almost dropped a load of chemicals when Dib spoke. He hadn't noticed him come in. Zim glared at the computer. "A little warning would've been nice." He looked at Dib who was looking around his lab, and then down at the back pack on the ground. Zim grinned. "Planning to stay for long, Diblet?" Zim purred.

_"Sorry. Normally you hear me easily enough." Dib shrugged. "How should I know what you wanted me here for? It was already packed..." He mumbled quickly for an excuse, cheeks heating up. "If you're busy I'll go make myself useful."_

Zim narrowed one eye. "I wasn't talking to you. The computer is supposed to warm me when anyone comes within the vicinity of my lab. And how do you plan on being useful?" He wondered, spinning in his chair. He suddenly got Déjà vu. He had been doing this, and Dib had been in the same spot when...he had died.

_"Oh." Dib smiled. "I don't think he likes you. He always sounds annoyed. It's like the opposite of Gir." Dib felt it too and had to hold back a frown. "It's a surprise...a good one this time." He grabbed his backpack and walked to the other side of the lab where there were a few little machines and a small computer._

Zim watched Dib walk across his lab and noticed the way his ripped up jeans hugged his hips and rode a little too low. His shirt was too tight, boots made him too tall. Zim blushed and ripped his eyes away from the hideous sight. "A surprise?"

_Dib looked over his shoulder and grinned. "Yup. That means you can't see it until it's done." He grabbed a few supplies he saw near him and picked a tool. "Just go back to whatever you were doing." Dib swayed his hips once in awhile to an imaginary tune in his head as he worked._

Zim clutched at his desk, trying to ignore the swaying of Dib's hips. He growled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He tried to focus on his work, but the boy didn't stay still. So finally, Zim walked across the lab and dug his claws into Dib's hips. "Cease the swaying, Diblet."

_Dib leaned back into it. It didn't really hurt that much and the blood didn't bother him either. He was used to rough treatment by now. "Why should I? Normally someone would have asked nicely to stop before resorting to violence." Dib teased and started doing it again._

Zim hissed, his skin tight. "I don't care what other normal people do. I am not normal and I don't want you doing...that." He spat out, the blood burned his claws but, he found the smell so tempting. It wafted up and surrounded him. The scent of that, and Dib's unique mysterious smell had him leaning closer. It smelled like moonlight and frost.

_Dib laughed. "I thought my blood burned you. Or is this punishment because I can't keep still?" He was still working on his little project but was keeping it hidden from Zim's view._

"It does burn. And you won't stop so I'm punishing you, yes. Can't you do something else besides sway your hip about?" Zim asked, practically pressed against Dib's back. His head leaned against the back of the human's neck, he breathed against the pale skin.

_"Mmm.. No, I don't think so. Now let go before you hurt your hands even more." Dib grabbed Zim's hands and used them to hug himself. The Irken's breath felt weird against his skin. "What are you doing? And my moving around isn't that big of a deal, you'll get used to it." He started humming quietly and moved in a slow and steady rhythm. Dib grabbed another tool and kept working._

Zim grumbled but, went back to his chair and cleaned of his hands. He stared back at Dib who was gyrating so...disgustingly Zim's toes curled in his boots and he spat out an Irken cuss word. Zim stomped away, refusing to look at the human any longer. "Tell me when you're done." He barked.

_Dib grinned, knowing exactly what the word meant. He muttered a simple 'you're welcome' in Irken. When he was done with his project he walked up to Zim and put his head in his shoulder. "Are you ready?" He purred._

Zim sighed, tense as hell. "Yeah. Sure. Escort Zim to his surprise." He began walking. "Wait." He stopped Dib, by holding his arm out. "Is this surprise, a present?"

_"Aww are you excited for your surprise?" Dib smiled, holding something behind his back. "If you want it you gotta earn it."_

Zim glared, "How the hell do I do that?" He barked, hands on his hips. "I shouldn't have to earn anything. I am Zim. That should be enough."

_Dib laughed. "Surprise me." He grinned. "This will really be worth it. It's super awesome and worthy of your Zim...ness."_

Zim tapped his foot, remembering the stoopid swaying and the idiotic wrapping of the hands. The fear of almost losing him, and the danger they were still it. How Dib used ZIM'S arms to hug himself, and the big, golden eyes. Zim reached up, spooch in his throat and did something he had seen other earthanoids do. It seemed appose. He placed both hands, still wrapped with strips of Dib's trench coat and placed his lips against the human's.

_Dib thought Zim was going to either yell or hug him, either would have been fine, and he would have given him the 'surprise' anyway. What Zim actually did had him blushing darkly and his eyes widened before sliding closed. He'd never been kissed before so it's not like he had something to compare it to but it was almost nice. Zim's skin was oddly soft and the alien was gentle considering his nature. Dib took a step back shyly and held out a pink box for Zim. He was going to act like Zim had done nothing wrong, and then they'd forget about it...hopefully._

Zim grinned manically and grabbed the box, holding to his chest. He sat down on the floor, cross legged and ripped open the box, throwing the top up into the air, not caring where it landed.

_Dib shook his head. Zim always proved to be extremely childish. A pair of Zim's old contacts was inside but they were bright and looked brand new. Dib had modified them so they would be more comfortable and would work better._

Zim looked at Dib, down at the contacts before lifting them gently and placing them in his eyes. He blinked once and expected to feel itchy as normal. But, he didn't. They were very nice actually and he realized that normally there was a foggy film over his eyes from the lenses. Now, there was only Dib. Which was an okay sight...he guessed. "They're comfortable."

_"So they work alright?" Dib leaned over and looked at Zim's eyes from a few different angles. "They look fine I guess. I still hate you wearing them when it isn't necessary." He crossed his arms. "Is there something for me to do or would I get in the way?"_

"Yes they work better than my others. Zim will wear them, with pride." Which was as close to a thank you as the Irken would get. Zim narrowed his eyes. "That depends...will you dance about again?"

_Dib smiled, knowing that was the best he was going to get and he was ok with that. "You don't like my dancing?" Dib grinned. "That helps me work better."_

"No. I hate it." Zim lied, through his teeth. "If you don't dance..." He put his hands on his hips. "Then Zim will allow you to...assist me."

_"What happens if I happen to forget that you hate me dancing?" Dib walked over and invaded Zim's personal space._

Zim narrowed his disguised eyes and pushed one finger at Dib's chest keeping him at least a foot away. "Then I strap you to an operating table, and tape your annoying hair."

_Dib pouted. "That's cruel..." He grabbed Zim's hand and pushed it away. "My dancing isn't that bad. You're just jealous." Dib started humming and moving around again._

Zim's eye twitched. He grinned, toothily as he activated his Pak legs. "I warned you. I would say run, but you won't get far."

_Dib frowned, never being a fan of Zim's teeth or Pak legs. Both always caused an overly large amount of pain. Dib ran under Zim and jumped onto him, hugging him tightly in the air. "You're not taping my hair."_

Zim acted nonchalant. "I'm not?" he asked, trying to shake Dib loose.

_"Of course not!" Dib whined and hugged him tighter, burying his face in Zim's neck._

Zim hated when Dib whined. "Fine. Now let go." He bit out, returning his legs into the Pak.

_Dib sighed in relief and got his balance easily when he was back on the ground. "I don't want to."_

"Well too bad. I'm getting santaclawstro." Zim groaned, trying to get Dib to release him.

_"No idea what you're talking about." Dib didn't let go and nuzzled Zim's neck lightly. "Am I staying here tonight?"_

Zim heaved an exasperated sigh. "I don't know. Are you? And did you sniff some of my chemicals when Zim wasn't looking? You know that's bad for you, right?' He grinned, a single claw circling the end of Dib's scythe lock.

_Dib shrugged lightly. "Depends if you want me to and if you actually have a bed since supposedly you never sleep." He paused. "No... You were throwing some at me the other day if that counts. I'm fine if that's what you mean."_

"I do have a bedroom." Zim sniffed, as if offended the Dib would say he didn't. "You seem...loopy. That's why I was wondering."

_"I'm not loopy. Just at ease and kind of happy for once. Sorry if that's bothering you." Dib let go of Zim and grabbed his bag._

"Don't get all...emo-y. I was merely making an observation. I'm just not used to you being this way. Now, are you staying or not?" Zim groused, tapping his foot.

_Dib sighed. "I'll stay if you want me to. You'd have to show me where the bedroom is though since I've never seen it."_

Zim spun and went to the elevator. "Follow Zim."

_Dib followed._

Zim stood with the Dib in awkward silence. Finally, the doors opened and revealed a long hallway. He walked down it, boots making clicking noises. Zim stopped in front of a door and waited while it identified them. The door slid open and he stepped inside. The room was dimly lit, with no windows. A odd circular shape, it was large enough to fit a round king sized bed, topped with soft looking, silk pink sheets, and millions of fluffy pillows. The carpet was dark purple and so thick, your toes sank into it. The walls were also dark colored, one wall painted with a huge black Irken insignia. "Here. You can sleep here."

_Dib sighed at the familiar pink color. The insignia didn't help his mood towards the room either. The carpet was sucking in his boots and he looked back at Zim. "Why do you never use this room?" Dib sat down on the bed and smiled at how comfortable it was. He reached for Zim's arm and pulled the Irken to sit next to him._

Zim sat reluctantly next to Dib on the bed. "Because. I don't sleep often and when I do it's down in my lab. There's no use coming up here." The bed was soft though. Made from only the best, of course.

_"That's a stupid reason." Dib pushed Zim over so he was lying down and lay down as well. He moved up to where the pillows were and pulled Zim with him, trapping him in a hug._

Zim wondered when he had turned from scary, worst enemy to a teddy bear. That's what he felt like, being snuggled like this. "Don't call my reasons stupid." Zim pouted, crossing his arms. The pillows were very soft, compared to the desk down in his lab. "Dib...don't get mad. I'm asking a question and Irk forbid you should answer it, alright?"

_"Already did. I'll keep that in mind for next time though." Dib smiled and grabbed one of Zim's hands, wondering idly of it still hurt. "Why would I get mad? I'm not you. It can't be that bad." He teased and slid their fingers together._

Zim was once again surprised at how well their fingers fit together. "A day ago we hated each other. Now..." He stared pointedly down at Dib holding his hand and snuggling against him.

_"I haven't hated you for a long time Zim." Dib sighed. "I just chose to hide it because you would have somehow used it against me." He shrugged nonchalantly as if they were talking about the weather. "Plus a lot happened in the last few days. If you're trying to ask why it happened the way it did then I can't answer that. All I know is that you're way too soft to be an invader." Dib nuzzled his neck again. "And you're sleeping tonight whether you like it or not." He mumbled against the skin._

Zim growled deep in his throat. "I AM an Invader. I don't have to sleep with you. I don't have to do anything you tell me to do. I...I..." Slowly, it began to dawn on him finally. He felt tired. So, tired from everything. "Dib..." He whispered. "I'm not an Invader." The words came out forced. Yes, maybe he had said them before but, now it felt real. The one thing he had ever wanted was gone. Out of reach. A lie. He didn't feel the human lying next to him, or the bed beneath him. All he felt was his failure. Zim stared at the Irken insignia.

_Dib sighed and rolled Zim over, hugging him to his chest. "There's nothing wrong with that. You're fine just the way you are. When we get back at the Tallest they'll be sorry that they didn't appreciate you." He twirled a antennae around his finger. "Everything will be fine. Just rest, you need it." Dib hugged him close, not knowing what else to do. He was regretting what he said earlier but he hadn't meant any harm. "I know you're thinking you're a failure but you aren't. You're perfect, alright?"_

Zim whimpered, then let a small purr loose that shook his body. He heard the words of kindness, and he wanted to believe them. But, he just couldn't. Zim nodded anyway and rested his head against Dib's chest, eyes staring, heavy lidded at that stupid insignia. Slowly, his body shut down and his Pak made a soft metallic whirl that sent him into sleep mode. His eyes fell shut and his breathing was even. The Irken wouldn't awaken for hours to come and until them he would be absolutely impossible to rise, unless danger came too close.

_Dib sighed and kept twirling Zim's antennae idly as if it might help him sleep or have good dreams. He didn't even know if Irkens had dreams. He frowned; there was so much he didn't know. Dib made a mental note to ask when Zim woke up and curled up against him to get more comfortable. Zim's Pak had made some noises so Zim probably wouldn't be awake for awhile so he decided to take a short nap and he'd check on Zim once in awhile. It was the least he could do. He glared at the wall and also decided he was going to repaint over the mark, and the entire wall, maybe a nice shade of blue. Dib yawned and fell asleep._

* * *

><p><em>AN: First of all... "santaclawstro" is supposed to mean claustrophobic if I remember correctly. Also I commend people for being filthy, cheating humans and checking my dA for further chapters. I'll get this caught up here soon enough then there will be actual updates finally. Yay. Thanks for all the reviews and positive feedback._


	5. Are you my Mommy?

Zim wasn't supposed to dream. Irkens didn't dream, it wasn't possible. But, then again he was a Defect. It wasn't a good dream but, not a nightmare either. Just weirdness. People laughing at him maliciously mixed with the wonderful, happy sound of Dib's chuckles. Being kicked around and beaten to pieces and then Dib was there to help him up and brush him off. Zim couldn't awaken so there was no stopping the visions. He thrashed about in the pink bed, then calmed, then thrashed all over again.

_Dib whined in his sleep and eventually woke up from all of Zim's moving around. He really thought Zim was just in a 'sleep mode' from how the Pak reacted earlier but it looked like he was dreaming from all of the thrashing around. The boy sighed and nudged Zim slightly since from what he could tell it wasn't a good dream. "Rise and shine sleepy head."_

Zim didn't wake up, instead sweat beaded on his forehead and he whimpered. Then at once his face smoothed over and a small grin appeared for a few seconds before he was growling and trying to bite at anything close to him.

_"You have mood swings even in your sleep? Great..." He sighed sarcastically. Dib took his glasses off because he was getting a headache from sleeping with them on. He nudged Zim with his foot so he wouldn't get bitten._

Then Zim went still. For all of two minutes before he let out a large snore, and cuddling up to Dib's chest.

_Dib gave up trying to wake him up. If he left Zim alone he'd wake up eventually anyway. He stretched and put his glasses next to him so they wouldn't get broken._

Zim slept for another hour and a half before his Pak made whirling noises signaling the cycle had ended. With a final beep, Zim's magenta eyes shot open.

_Dib had been resting with his eyes closed for awhile since he couldn't move with Zim practically laying on him. He opened an eye and looked down at Zim when he heard the noises start up._

Zim was alert, looking around trying to remember his surroundings. He remembered the walls and the bed. Then the Dib. Zim looked up at him and glared. "I fell asleep in front of you. Zim is angry that you let him do such a thing."

_Dib sighed at the glare. "Can you ever just be happy to see me?" He shrugged, knowing that was a stupid question. "Something else would make you angrier if you found out."_

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Can't you ever just speak like a normal person? Zim does not understand half the things you say." He said superiorly, lying on his elbows.

_Dib smiled. "If I stopped speaking in riddles would you be happy to see me?" He teased and poked Zim's forehead. "By the way how was your dream? Seemed like a lot was going on."_

Zim thought for a moment. "If you spoke with no riddles the world would really be doomed. But, yes Zim would be slightly less disgusted to see you." He tried to bite the finger, annoyed at the pale flesh. "Don't poke me. I'll eat your finger. And my 'dream' as you humans call it, is none of anyone's business."

_"I could stop if I wanted to." He offered. "It'd be worth it if you were forced to be happy around me." Dib rolled his eyes. "You already tried to bite me earlier so stop that. I already know the basics of what happened just by your actions. You were quite vocal by the way."_

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Was not." He hissed; eager to get away from the subject. "And how would Dib sound without talking nonsense?" He tapped his chin. "I think it would be scary. In fact Zim thinks that you wouldn't be able to do it." He said, challenge in his voice.

_Dib grinned. "Fine. If I can do it you have to tell me about your dream and be nicer, if that's even possible for you." He stretched lazily. "What do you define as nonsense? Because in my opinion a lot of what you say is more nonsense than what I say."_

Zim snorted, which was really weird because he had no nose. "Fine if you don't do it then I'll speak of my dreams." He glared at Dib. "You LIIIIE stink-beast! I talk only pure truth. You talk words of things that Zim never understands and tires to decode only to fail. Obviously, you need to have more respect for your superior." Zim smiled pointing to himself.

_That caused Dib to burst out laughing. "Superior? When have you ever beaten me?" He tried to stop laughing but couldn't so spoke in-between his bouts of laughter. "And in your race your height makes you superior so I'd be your superior." Dib patted Zim's head. "I know you hate to lose but it's just the truth." He smiled. "I'll be more blunt from now on then, just for my short little Zim."_

Zim growled and tackled the human, straddling his chest, chin high. He held Dib's fat head down with his claw. "Now, who's smaller, huh? Huh? Huh? I am ZIIIIM! I am Irken and therefore better than you will ever be." He sniffed, indignantly. "Call me short again and I'll make you walk on your knees from now on. I merely tolerate your tallness because it amuses me."

_Dib yelped as he was tackled but he didn't stop laughing. The whole situation was funny and Zim's drama queen act made it worse. "It doesn't amuse you at all. You hate me being taller and I love it." Dib grabbed Zim's hand and removed it from his head before rolling over Zim and pinning him down so he couldn't escape. "You're short." He drew out the statement to piss him off more and he had a grin._

Zim shrieked at the rough treatment, trying to get away. "I am not! Zim is...is not short! BE QUIET AND CEASE YOUR LAUGHING AT THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!" He tried to dig his claws into the human's arms.

_Dib grabbed Zim's hands and intertwined them with his so he couldn't do any damage with his claws anymore. "Go ahead, admit it shorty."_

"NEVEEEER! I would rather die in a fiery pit filled to the brim with Higgel saliva and rotting human filth!" Zim squeaked and when he realized his hands weren't working resorted to teeth, which he knew Dib hated. He lunged up and tried to snap at the soft neck in front of him. The Dib had given him full access after all.

_"Well that wasn't an option now was it? You don't have to be so shy." He teased and winced when Zim bit him. Dib could feel the warm blood run down and just picturing Zim's teeth didn't help. "That wasn't necessary..." He whined and realized that he might have a plan to keep Zim from using his teeth against him. "Unless it's just a love bite. You do have weird ways of showing affection."_

"LURVE BITE? Haha! I win! You're speaking of things Zim knows nothing of. It's official, Zim wins!" he chuckled delightedly. Zim didn't stop his long tongue from darting out and catching a spicy drop of blood on the serrated edge.

_"You said I couldn't speak nonsense. It isn't nonsense when I explain it. It's self explanatory actually. It just means you hurt me cause you loveeee me." Dib blushed at the contact and leaned up so Zim couldn't reach his neck anymore._

Zim narrowed his eyes thinking. "What sort of dookie is this? It makes no sense. Zim hurts you because it's fascinating to see you bleed." He watched Dib try to move his neck away, and Zim grinned evilly. "Afraid of my teeth, Diblet?" He asked.

_"I think I've bled enough for your enjoyment. And that would get boring eventually since it never changes. Plus we're not enemies anymore so that isn't the reason." Dib whined. "I'm not afraid of your stupid creepy demon teeth. I'd just prefer to not bleed to death. Necks are sensitive if you haven't noticed." He frowned when the shoulder of his jacket was getting soaked._

Zim watched the blood spread and soak the fabric. "So? Just because we aren't enemies doesn't mean that I don't like the sight." Zim tried once again to free his hands. "Let me up. You need to patch yourself up and if you don't let me go then I'll just bite you again since you seem to like it."

_"Oh great. I'm living under the roof of a Sadist." Dib frowned and got off of him. "I don't like you biting me at all..." He looked down nervously. "And I don't need your help." Dib put a hand on his neck to try to stop the bleeding._

Zim watched the pathetic attempt at staunching the blood. "Somehow, I don't believe you. Come. I can heal it." He jumped out of bed and smoothed out his uniform before walking to the door.

_"Well maybe you should." He mumbled before standing up. Dib groped around on the bed until he found his glasses and put them back on with a sigh of relief. Vision was good. "I said I don't need your help." He frowned but followed him to the door anyway._

"Then how do you plan to fix your neck without bandages or healing medication? Hmm?" Zim said, walking down the hallway towards the elevator.

_Dib's grip on his neck tightened subconsciously and he bit his lip to stop a wince. "I don't know...I still don't need your help." He followed slowly behind him._

Zim whirled and placed his claw against the human's lips. "Shhh. I can fix you so, stop being stubborn." he turned back around and stepped in the elevator. "Come on. In my lab Zim has stuff that will heal you in no time."

_Dib jumped back and flailed to get Zim's hand away. The action exerted more energy than he thought and he lost balance, thankfully the wall was close enough to catch him. "I can be stubborn all I want..." He walked into the elevator after him._

"Whatever Dib-Thing. Lie all you like." Zim stated, tapping the heel of his boot against the metal floor, making a very annoying clicking sound.

_Dib would have put his hands over his ears but didn't want to let go of his neck so whined. "Could you please stop that?"_

Zim sighed. Almost tempted to keep doing it just to annoy the boy, but conceded and stopped just as they reached the bottom. He stepped into the lab and walked to a medical table.

_Dib walked out of the elevator but didn't follow him to the medical table. He said he didn't need any help and he didn't want it because Zim would think he could do whatever he wanted all the time. Just because you can fix something you break doesn't mean you should keep breaking it._

Zim pulled out a little jar of orange goo, and placed a small drop on his finger. He looked up and narrowed his eyes when he saw Dib hadn't moved from the outside of the elevator. "Come to Zim. He'll fix you faster than any Band-Aid."

_Dib shook his head. He was considering just going upstairs to be with Gir. At least the robot wouldn't try to smack or bite him every two seconds._

Zim sneered holding the goo out. "You afraid?" he snarled.

_Dib frowned and walked back into the elevator, hitting the button to the house level without bothering to respond._

Zim glared as he watched the boy go. Fine he wanted to do it that way then. Whatever. Zim didn't care. The boy would just get in his way. Zim had many things to do to...prepare.

_Dib sat on the couch when the elevator let him out and laid down, not caring if his blood germs infected Zim's stupid couch. He really wanted to just go home but he doubted that would be any safer for him._

Zim focused on his project, hoping it worked. The way his experiments went it was a 50/50 thing. His thoughts occasionally strayed to the boy whom was sitting on HIS couch, still furtively trying to staunch the bleeding. It should've healed by now. His human was fragile. Zim looked through a microscope at a new chemical. Then he stilled, head lifting up at he ran back through his mental musings. His human. What the Irk? When had that happened? Oh well. Zim shrugged mentally agreeing that it would never happen again. Hmm...if his plan worked...which why wouldn't it, then all their problems would be solved.

_Dib got bored lying around and couldn't force himself to fall asleep. He turned the TV on a few times but it was just boring news stuff like always. Using his good side to sit up again he stood up and looked back at the elevator. He could have bled to death by now and obviously Zim was too busy doing whatever Zim's did in their free time. Dib shook his head, of course he didn't care what Zim did...he'd just go home, it's not like he had to stay anyway. So with that thought in mind Dib went back to his house._

Zim watched the human leave on the computer's monitor with clenched fists. Stoopid human. He had wasted a whole hour trying to convince the stupid dirt child to not leave to his death. Why? Zim didn't know. He was always annoying and pitiful. The earth really wouldn't miss him. He tore his eyes from the screen and looked at the new, more comfortable contacts the human had made him. Zim narrowed his red eyes at them. He picked up the right one and at that moment he wanted to crush it in his fist. Instead he set it gently down on the table.

_Gir peaked his head over to see what Zim was up to. "Dawwww... He gots you a birthday present!" He giggled and jumped in Zim's lap, holding the contacts over his blue eyes. "Is he comin' back soon to play house? I wanna be the baby and you can be the mommy!"_

Zim grumbled, lost in thought. "What would he be?"

_"He'd be the daddy of course!" Gir set the contacts down, surprisingly with care, and pulled Zim's cheeks up into a smile._

Zim growled and smacked the robots hands away. "He would so not be the daddy! Zim is much more male that he is!"

_Gir giggled. "But he's better at it. Plus he gives me cool stuff to play with when he comes over." He whined before smiling and extended his arms widely. "Daddy loves me this much!"_

"Then go be with daddy, then! Get out of my base!" Zim hissed and shoved the robot away. "Go, be with him!"

_Gir pouted. "Mommy gets mad when Daddy isn't around."_

Zim picked up the robot and chucked it across the room. "OUT! I am not your mommy and he isn't the daddy! He's a dumb, idiotic, asshole that is worthless and a complete waste of anyone's time!"

_Gir looked down. "Fine... We'll go play piggies and you'll be all by yourself!" He ran out crying dramatically._

Zim looked away. "I like it by myself." He whispered, returning to work.

_Dib wrapped his neck up with some bandages before Gir came over._

"BIG HEADED BOYYYYY!" Gir screamed jumping through Dib's window and landing on Dib's big head, smiling with tears still running down his face.

_Dib winced since it moved his neck. "Gir...My head is off-limits for awhile..." He picked Gir up and set him on the floor. "Did he make you cry again?"_

Gir snuggled the human's leg for a moment before catching sight of Dib's moon rock collection and investigating. With his mouth. "YESH! But, he didn't mean it. I think. ROCKS ARE YUMMEH!"

_Dib sighed and had to remember to not shake his head. "You can just stay here for awhile if you want. Just don't bug Gaz when she gets home. She almost destroyed you last time."_

Gir nodded, and shoved a whole rock in his mouth. It clunked on the way down. Gir just giggled and started jumping on Dib's bed. "Your my daddy and mah mastahs my mommy!

_Dib smiled a bit. "Why am I the dad? If you told Zim he's the girl he'd throw you around probably."_

Gir giggled, spinning in midair. "I told him he was. He gotted REAL mad! Said to go play with you! SO I BE HERE WITH YOOOOOOOU!"

_Dib sat down on the bed and picked Gir up mid jump. "Doesn't it bother you that he gets angry at you all the time?"_

Gir leaned against Dib's chest and sucked his thumb. "He's not mad. Mastahs a broken. LIKE MEH!" He giggled.

_"As stupid as you act you're surprisingly observant." Dib patted his head._

Gir suddenly screeched and licked Dib's hand. "I'M A PUPPPPPPY!"

_"What did I tell you last time about screaming..." Dib whined._

Gir thought for a moment. "That it's good?"

_"No. Screaming is bad. Very bad."_

"Oh." Gir said, uncomprehendingly. His tongue stuck out from his mouth and he sat down. "I wanna eat some ice cream and have a tea party."

_"There's ice cream in the freezer I think. Go get it if you wanna." Dib lay down._

Gir gasped and zoomed away. The sounds of giggling and happy screeching, not to mention the loud banging, could be heard from the kitchen down stairs.

_Dib shrugged, not caring if Gir made a mess like he always did. The only person that would be home soon is Gaz and he could care less if she got mad about anything for the moment. "Get me some too Gir!"_

"OKAY! YOU WANT NUTS AND BANNANS AND CHERRIES AND CREAM AND TOADS ON EHT TOO?"

_"NO! Just the ice cream!"_

Gir screamed, "OKAY!" He ran back upstairs and handed Dib, thankfully just a bowl of chocolate ice cream. Gir was already consuming his, bouncing up and down happily.

_"Thanks." Dib sat up and ate his at a normal pace._

Zim glared at the chemical mixture that continued to give him trouble. It was unstable and dangerous. He usually liked both of the following but, in this case he didn't plan on taking any chances. He didn't know but, the lab usually his sanctuary from this hideous planet was too quiet and...empty. He hated it when he should've been lavishing in the quiet. Maybe the Earth air was slowly poisoning him. It would explain a lot about his recent actions.

_Dib was back in a happy, and almost hyper, mood with Gir around. And the ice cream helped of course. He decided to say hi to Zim and piss him off at the same time. Getting off the bed he picked Gir up and sat down at his computer with Gir in his lap. "We're going to say hi to Zim." He smiled and opened up a video feed with Zim's computer. "Hey~~! You miss us yet? I bet you're all lonely."_

Zim gasped and turned around dropping the chemical. It splattered everywhere. He hissed as it began burning his skin. "Son of a Vortian, that hurts!" he screeched. The stoopid fluid began melting everything it touched. "Look what you did!" He shouted. "That chemical is dangerously unstable. Now I have to fucking clean it up." he glared at the screen. The sight of Dib and Gir together made him angry. "Look, Dib-Human, I'm trying to save both our asses from the Tallest!" he said, gesturing to the now spilt liquid, bubbling on his skin. "Have fun with GIR!" he bit out. "He's been trying to find a nice playmate. You two fit well."

_Dib smiled. "Aww did you get hurt? I'd say sorry but I'm not." He couldn't help but laugh, karma came at the best times. "Maybe if you would be easier to work with your fail rate wouldn't be so high since I'd be helping." Dib hugged Gir close to him. "It's not my fault that he likes me better than you 'mommy'." Dib grinned._

Zim growled, "Fuck you. I bit you once and now you're being a dick. I don't see how Zim is the enemy here. I offered to fix you. You denied it and ran crying home."

_"I didn't run home crying. I'm just sick of you acting like this if we're supposed to be on the same team." Dib frowned. "Too bad you don't remember when you were dying because you were pretty amazing."_

"I wasn't me when I was dying! I was only a small fucking part of a whole. This is who Zim is. I'm violent, angry and a DEFECT!" he panted, rage in his eyes. "If we weren't on the same team I would still be trying to kill you. To take over your planet. But, I'm not." He whispered. "I'm not."

_"I could say otherwise. I think that was the real you. I was proud of you for what you did." Dib sighed. "You know if you saw a psychologist they'd say your anger and violence is a cover-up for something." He set Gir down and leaned closer to the screen. "By all means if you want me out of your way so much then come over here and kill me."_

Zim growled. "You fool! I just said I was trying to NOT kill you. It means that we are 'equals'," He rolled his eyes at such dookie. "And it's no cover-up. Zim has been this way his whole life."

_"Trying doesn't mean that you don't still want to. And if you considered me an equal I'd be helping with whatever that chemical is." Dib rolled his eyes. "And you've been ignored and hated since you were young so no duh you've always been that way. You're just in denial."_

Zim sighed. "And you're just annoying." He crossed his arms and stared at the human child, who wasn't much of a child any more. "The chemical which is now destroyed," he glared at the mess. "was designed to cut through the thickest of metal. As you can see." He pointed, at the big hole in the floor of his base. "I would've asked you for help but, when I tried to patch you up you left. You could've been down here helping."

_"I shouldn't need to be patched up in the first place. You act like I'm your pet or something. There's only so many times I'll go back to you, eventually I'll get smart enough to stop." Dib crossed his arms as well and rubbed at his neck._

Zim scoffed. "You make us sound like a couple, Dib-Thing. A really whiney, dysfunctional one at that. And YOU are the female."

_Dib grinned. "Oh really? Does that make you happy to think about kissing me?" He laughed. "You don't even know what couples do."_

Zim stared, crossing his arms nonchalantly. "Oh, I don't? And just how do you know that I don't have more experience than you?"

_"Because unless the Tallest gave you special lessons after class I doubt any other Irken would do anything with you. Or human for that matter."_

Zim just smirked, not insulted in the least. "Even if they were just small little encounters as smeets...I bet I still have way more experience than you do. Virgin Dib."

_Dib's eye twitched. "I don't know what disturbs me more...the fact that you know what that means or the fact that you said it towards me. And you don't know that at all. I have plenty of experience."_

Zim raised an 'eyebrow'. "Oh do you now?" Zim quickly popped in the disc where Dib told the Tallest all about his experiences. "Somehow I don't believe you."

_"Why would I tell a rapist alien about my sex life?" Dib groaned. "I'm not having this conversation with you..."_

Zim nodded, and grinned victoriously. "Suit yourself."

_"I'm so going to kill you for this... Stop acting like you've won something..."_

Zim smiled." But, I have. Knowledge. The best kind of prize. So Dib. Are you going to help me or not?"

_"You seriously expect my help after what you just said? You're stupider than I thought."_

Zim shrugged. "Ah well. I just assumed that you wished to help from all you're whining about me not asking for it earlier. Zim is disappointed."

_Dib glared. "Are you trying to make me hate you? Because it's the only plan that's ever worked."_

Zim stretched. "No Dib. Would you want me to be polite? Play nice? Coddle you and snuggle like we did last night?" He stared unblinkingly. "I don't want your hate. I don't need it. I just don't want you to expect me to be anything I'm not."

_Dib's eyes narrowed, a glimmer of that old hatred coming back into his eyes. "You know what, fine. Have fun with your chemicals." He cut the connection._

Zim sighed. What the hell was wrong with the Dib? He just didn't get it. Hormones, he guessed.

_Dib sighed. "Gir you should go home."_

Gir sniffled and nodded, hugging the boy's leg. "Dibbbbb...don't hate us. We alls just broken some." He commented. "Even youse." He whispered, with big blue eyes.

_"Don't cry... I feel bad enough already. And I know I'm broken, I have been." Dib picked Gir up and hugged him._

Gir hugged back. "I wuv you." he said, smashing Dib's cheeks together.

_Dib was forced to smile. "Wuv you too."_

With that Gir jumped out the window and squealed, jumping for joy all the way back to his master's base.

_Dib rolled his eyes. "If only life could be as simple as he sees it."_

" If only." Said a deep, familiar voice.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry about this one being a tad shorter. I'm uploading them how they were on another site because they're at good stopping points and that's how I separated it on the word document that this is on. Makes it easier to know where I am. Just as a warning there are fifteen chapters posted so far. I'm going to try to get most of them up today since I'm kind of excited to get new chapters posted. dA people have been waiting quite awhile for an update so I don't know if I'll post this in both places or not. Anyway~ Aren't we all just broke-ded inside?

Anyone who gets the title deserves the finest of irken donuts. Loosely interpreted from a small line but I saw the episode recently and it had to be done...


	6. Hugs and Ear Lovin'

_Dib frowned. "Red..?"_

"Yes, Dib?" Red asked, twirling a doughnut around his finger.

_Dib looked at the screen and seemed confused for a minute. "Did you hack my computer?"_

Red smiled widely. "Yes. Yes I did. I'm quite good at it, I find."

_"Shouldn't you test it on better targets? Like the resistance?"_

"But this is a test! I can do it all I like now to bigger threats. See, you helped. Even if you did so unknowingly."

_Dib forced a smile and rubbed his neck subconsciously. "Yeah, I guess."_

Red smirked. "Tell me Dib, how are things going on your end? I sense some tension."

_"Just Zim being stupid. Nothing new."_

"I see." He stared around the human's room. "What a weird place."

_"You've seen it before... What's so weird?"_

Red sighed. "This is getting stupid." he grumbled, chewing on a doughnut. "Purple was right. Damn. I owe him." Red gazed hungrily at Dib.

_Dib blinked. "What are you talking about?"_

Red bit into his doughnut, and swallowed. "I'm tired of being nice. It really isn't natural for me." he shook his head, smiling in way he had never before. It was...creepy. All his teeth showed and his eyes seemed like they already had Dib.

_Dib sunk back into his chair and held back a whine. He'd never complain or say Zim's teeth were creepy ever again...Red was way worse. "No one said you had to be nice..."_

Red smiled at the small wine. "Oh I was though. Too nice. Just to get you to come here of your own free will. Turns out humans are too stubborn." he tapped on his throne chair. "You're too fun to pass up. Since you won't come here when we ask nicely...I might have to force you."

_"I-I already said I was coming...just that I had a few things to do..." Dib grabbed onto his arm to keep from tapping his foot again. He really didn't want to know what Red meant by fun._

Red nodded, mockingly. "Of course." he hissed, trailing his finger up his arm chair. "I'll tell you what, Dib. You come to us by tomorrow evening and we won't come to you, kill Zim, destroy your planet and kidnap you as a souvenir, hmm?"

_Dib looked down. "Even if I went with you you'd probably still do it." At least he felt a little calmer when he wasn't looking at Red._

Red laughed. "You catch on quickly, for one so young. But, hey you either come willingly or dragged by the nails."

_"If that's supposed to be a compliment it doesn't help." Dib mumbled quietly._

"It isn't. It's an observation." Red snapped his fingers and a little table drone ran up. "Where is Purple?" Red's eyes flickered to Dib. "Find him and get him here." The drone ran off.

_Dib decided to not say anything so he wouldn't say something stupid. Purple floated over eventually with a groan. "What... Oh!" Purple grinned but waved excitedly as if he was Gir. "Hi Dib!" Dib stared at him for awhile thinking that Purple had gone insane._

Red grinned and held out a pack of doughnuts for his lover.

_Purple shook his head. "You know what I want."_

Red sighed. "I know; it's only a matter of getting the little bastard here." Red turned to the computer once again. "So, Dib what's it going to be? Willing or forced?"

_"Alright, I get it. You said I have until tomorrow so don't act like I'm doing anything right now."_

Red shrugged. "Fine." Red grinned menacingly. "I'm really going to enjoy hurting you, Dib." He growled before the computer went blank.

_Dib stared blankly at the monitor for a few minutes before walking back to Zim's house slowly. He didn't know what he'd even say. Hi Zim you got 24 hours to live, yay. Saying it didn't help at all. Dib walked up to the door and sat on the steps instead of walking inside._

The lawn gnomes spun and faced him, but since they sensed no threat they just watched with blank eyes. Zim meanwhile was in his base, bitching about Dib this and Dib that to the only one who would listen; Gir, when the alarm went off. He looked out the peephole. He opened the door and stepped out.

_Dib didn't notice the gnomes or even Zim opening the door behind him. His mind was all over the place trying to think of something, anything he could do. Sadly nothing would come up and it was making him even more anxious. He ripped the bandages off his neck since the bleeding had stopped and sighed as a breeze floated them away. "Why is it always me...?"_

Zim sat on his front porch, next to Dib and wondered what he was babbling about. But he kept quiet, unsure.

_Dib hugged his knees to his chest and stayed quiet though he could barely think straight with the rate his thoughts were going._

Zim reached out and wrapped his arm around the human. "Dib?"

_Dib flinched and started shaking lightly. "You should go..."_

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

_"Because if you're lucky you can get away."_

Zim pulled the human's face to look at him. He was shaky and pale. -er. "What are you speaking of now?"

_"How stupid are you? The Tallest caught on already, they're coming tomorrow to kill you, blow up the planet, and take me!"_

Zim's eye twitched. He nodded. "Let's get you out of here." He gripped Dib's upper arm and yanked.

_Dib stayed where he was. "I'm not going anywhere..."_

Zim dug his sharp claws into the human's arm and pulled harder. "Why not? Come, human."

_Dib winced and pulled back. "Because they'll find me anyway. Maybe if you left they'd just leave you alone."_

Zim wanted to slap him so bad. "Dib-Monkey, think rationally for a moment. I don't care." he said as if that explained everything. "You are leaving this planet. We both are. Now come on."

_"I am thinking rationally!"_

Zim tapped his foot. "Whatever. Come on. Let's leave before they get here."

_"We have until tomorrow afternoon." He mumbled._

Zim sighed, "Then help me pack then."

_Dib nodded and rubbed his arm lightly._

Zim grabbed Dib's hand and pulled him inside, before slamming the door. "Are you alright, Diblet?"

_"Yeah... Don't worry about it." Dib headed towards the elevator in hopes Zim would just forget about it._

Zim sighed, and nodded, stomping towards the elevator. "Do you need anything?"

_Dib shook his head and sent the elevator down when Zim got in. He wasn't going so why would he need anything?_

Zim nodded and when they entered the lab he strode out dignified and ignored the computer who was still trying to patch up the floor. Zim had bandages wrapped around his arm. "Here. Sit." he said pointing to HIS chair.

_Dib normally would have commented but he wasn't in the mood for any more fighting so sat down obediently._

To Zim, the fact that Dib was being submissive scared the shit out of him. He should've been overjoyed and trying to make the best of the moment. But instead, the big scary invader, recognizing the signs of his Tallest's traumatics, leaned down and hugged Dib. "Dib-Monkey. Stop this. We'll be fine."

_Dib frowned, he couldn't even enjoy the one and only hug he'd ever get, great... "You say that... If you saw Red's face you wouldn't be so confidant." The Tallest's teeth were still haunting him. "We can't do anything against them."_

Zim snorted, pulling away. "Zim can take them down no problem. I've killed two Tallests and I can kill two more."

_"Weren't the first two on accident...? And no offense but your success rate is very low..."_

"Shut up!" Zim yelled. "Fine. Don't be optimistic. It seems like we switched places." He shuddered. "Now I'm the annoying, clingy one."

_Dib had a small smile after that statement and made grabby hands towards him. "If you're the clingy one then I want more hugs."_

Zim sighed and gave up, hugging him back.

_"Victory for Dib." He purred._

Zim rolled his eyes. "Don't get too much of a big head, big head." He grumbled.

_"Well I have to stay in character if I'm you." Dib smiled and bit his neck lightly._

Zim shuddered, and whined. "No fair. I can't do it. You can't either!"

_"I'd let you do it if you didn't bite so hard."_

Zim snuggled closer. "Zim likes biting hard." He grumbled.

_"Well you're teeth are sharp." Dib sighed and pulled Zim into the chair with him._

Zim lay on Dibs chest and grinned, biting his own lip. "But, sharp is good." He whispered.

_"For you maybe. Humans are sensitive." Dib pet an antennae._

Zim curled up like a cat, purring like one too. "Well, so are those."

_"Yeah but I'm not biting them till they bleed." Dib smiled._

Zim sighed, "True." He leaned up and lightly nibbled at the pale, soft skin on Dib's neck. "There. I was nice."

_Dib blushed. "That was better..."_

Zim nuzzled Dib's chin, "What's wrong?"

_Dib's blush darkened. "Just not used to you like this...that's all."_

Zim grinned. "Like what?"

_"All..." Dib frowned, trying to think of a word that Zim wouldn't use against him. "Cuddly."_

"Oh. I see." Zim purred, rubbing his face against Dib's chest. "Do you like it?"

_Dib whined. "Don't ask me something like that." He squirmed._

Zim chuckled, turning to straddle Dib's lap. "Why?"

_"Because it's not like you... You were complaining yesterday that you'd never change and I personally couldn't change you. Yet here you are hugging me instead of hurting me."_

Zim growled. "Well what would you have me be? Huh, Dib?" he spat. "You seem to like me better this way. I'm a Defect, and I can't control who I am..." He stared at the ground, jaw ticking. "People forget that."

_Dib winced. "That's not what I meant... I didn't mean to make you mad...I'll shut up now."_

Zim grimaced and with one claw stroked Dib's cheek. "I may get mad, and I know you do as well, but don't be afraid to speak your mind." He grinned, widely. "Irk knows I'm not."

_Dib frowned and looked down. "If I spoke my mind you'd hate me again. Plus my thoughts go too fast for my mouth to keep up with."_

"I know. I can sometimes see the thoughts in your big head, flying around and you're trying to decide which one to voice. It's all in your eyes." Zim lightly poked the corner of Dib's eye. "I won't hate you. Get used to it."

_Dib sighed. "Thanks I guess." He leaned on the side of the chair and his thoughts started wandering back to the Tallest since there was a gap of silence between them._

Zim let out an angry sigh and pushed himself away roughly, glaring at the floor. He had tried hadn't he? Now what?

_Dib frowned at his own thoughts. He'd seen a few movies with torture stuff in them and Zim had tried a few on him over the years. As bad as it was to think about what the Tallest would do he'd rather be slightly mentally prepared for when it happened._

Zim was busy stacking stuff meticulously, into his Voot cruiser, ignoring the human in his misery. He snorted, hands on his hips, mentally calculating all they would need.

_Dib watched Zim running back and forth around the lab to get supplies. "Can't you just transfer the stuff you need into that space lab you have?"_

Zim shook his head. "It's Irken. They will automatically sense the code and most likely destroy it." he said as if it was no big deal. "I plan to pack it all in here and fly as fast and as far away as Irkenly possible." He tapped his chin. "Maybe go to Holo78. I heard they are much more better than Holo13." He shrugged. "Or at least you'll go. I'm going to...speak with them."

_"Your Voot is Irken too so that doesn't help. You could hack into the hardware to make it not Irken..." Dib mumbled. "I did that with Tak's ship so you couldn't get control of it again." He looked over. "I already said I'm not going... And you speaking to them would equal you being dead so no."_

Zim didn't answer. "Would you like to configure my Voot, so that it's no longer Irken?" He asked.

_"As long as you promise not to contact them." Dib frowned._

Zim rolled his eyes. "I promise." He stopped Dib and hugged him.

_"You better not be lying..."_

Zim growled and shoved the boy away. "Fuck you. I'm not lying. You really think I would betray you?"

_"You told me to speak my mind..." Dib grumbled._

Zim sighed, "Yes. But, not when you believe I would betray you." He wouldn't lie, at least to himself. It kind of hurt that Dib thought that.

_Dib frowned. "I just felt like I needed to say it. Every time I say something you get mad."_

Zim rolled his eyes. "Well everything you say makes me mad."

_Dib curled up in the chair._

Zim tapped his foot against the floor. "I guess this means you refuse to reprogram the ship to make it unIrken?"

_"I'll still do it. Get me to the ship's main computer." Dib got up. "I'm just not talking from now on."_

Zim laughed and tickled Dib's ribs. "You're talking now." He said.

_Dib pushed him away, refusing to say any sounds._

Zim wondered how long the Dib could go without words. Would be interesting indeed. He shrugged and opened up the computers main hard drive.

_Dib looked inside. It was similar to Tak's Voot to a degree so he knew what he was doing. He walked away to find a few tools he'd need and went to work in silence, not even moving around like before._

Zim just gnashed his teeth and returned to what he was doing before hand as well. "Dib...you know I can't help it right? It isn't your fault that I'm a moron."

_Dib didn't respond or even make a gesture to show he'd heard the Irken._

Zim picked up a wrench and threw it. "When did you become a smeet? You were vicious and violent and you fought me every step of the way! I-I liked that. Now...you're just small and pitiful. You wallow in your self pityness. Zim doesn't care. I went there to save you, ya know. But...now I wonder if you would've liked to go instead. Or if I would've gone in your place."

_Dib's grip on the tool in his hand tightened. He couldn't help it that his emotions and thoughts got more complicated as time went on. He growled and aimed the tool at the back of Zim's head, hitting it dead center. "The odds are against us, I'm sorry that I'm trying to think of everything that could happen to keep you alive! Obviously you'd rather me hate you for the last few hours I'm here! Obviously I didn't want to go, I was scared! I'm not an Irken so I have emotions."_

Zim couldn't even enjoy his victory as the tool hit his forehead. "You don't think I know that odds are we both will die! Zim knows all of this. I'm not hating you either and you know it. I'm trying to open your fucking eyes." he stalked over and grabbed the human by his face. "You are worth more than Zim. You are human and will live much less than I. Zim has lived for almost two hundred years. I won't care if I die soon." Magenta eyes implored for Dib's own. "I try to fight with you...you leave before we can solve it." Zim looked down. "It's okay to be scared Dib. Just don't not tell me damn it."

_Dib looked down. "You keep telling me different things... You want me to be strong and equal to you but you're always mad and you hate me being weak. Then you tell me to express my thoughts and emotions and you're still mad." He grumbled and looked over to where the tool landed. "I threw that pretty hard...are you bleeding?"_

Zim shrugged. "I don't know. I want you strong. I want you brave. I want you to tell me when I do something that bothers you and then I can yell at you for it." He smirked, jokingly. "Then I'll do the same."

_Dib sighed and shook his head. "Fine. I'll try to stop being so sensitive I guess." He turned Zim around to see if he'd hurt him._

Zim raised his 'eye brow'. "You still don't understand what I'm saying. Am I speaking monkey?" He wondered. The back of his head was indeed dripping blue.

_"Even with your translator we can barley ever understand each other. Would you rather speak in Irken?" Dib grabbed some medical supplies from where Zim had gotten them before and wiped the blood off._

Zim grumbled, and crossed his arms uncomfortable being cared for. He scoffed. "I'm not sure if even that would help. We could speak every single language in the freaking galaxy and still not understand each other."

_Dib smiled slightly. "I'm quite proud of my Irken though." He bandaged Zim up to make him allll better._

Zim felt the bandages with his hand. He nodded satisfied that they were done correctly. "Yes, you are getting quite good. You speak better Irken than some Irkens do that have lived on irk their whole lives."

_"Seriously? How could you tell that from only a few conversations I had with the Tallest?" Dib frowned at the mention of them._

Zim strode over and poked at the boy's nose, gently. "Because I can, and Zim is amazing like that. Besides...the computer told me so."

_"Aww the computer likes me." Dib went cross eyed for a minute as he watched his nose get poked._

"Heh." Zim laughed at the cross eyed boy. "Most of my technology likes you. Gir, Computer, Minimoose, even the flipping gnomes are reluctant to shoot you." Zim shook his head at the insolence.

_"Probably because I'm not mean to them. You kick Gir into walls and the computer groans every time you ask him something."_

Zim sniffed, indignantly. "Gir is a robot and therefore can handle the strain. The computer is supposed to be asked things!" he threw his hands in the air. "That is the stoopid machine's job!"

_"It isn't its job to be called stupid, right Computer?" Dib smiled. "You need to be nicer to the things that do stuff for you. You're lucky that I can handle your weird moods."_

Zim snorted. "Even you can barely do that. They are technology. They have no feelings."

_"Gir has plenty of emotions. He's defective remember?"_

Zim was quiet. "Yeah. But he only has those emotions for 30 seconds before he forgets why he was upset at all."

_"So? He still has them. And he's sad that you're broken. He thinks we're just a broken family." Dib sighed._

Zim cracked his neck and groaned. "But, we aren't are we? He's a defective SIR unit, with numerous glitches. Zim is hated and destructive, from another planet and you're just a teenager with daddy issues, a history of insanity and problems staying in Skool."

_Dib's eye twitched. "My problems with staying in school are because you kept getting me so beat up I couldn't go for days. And what do you mean 'daddy issues'?" He flailed._

Zim yawned, stroking Dib's face. "Of course I beat you up. You did the same. And daddy issues..." He stuck his tongue out. "Do you really not know?"

_Dib's face flushed but it could have been embarrassment or anger. "If I knew I wouldn't have asked..."_

Zim stepped closer and wrapped his arms around the human's waist. "You hate your father because he's never around. Because he works too much and created you."

_Dib growled in his throat. "That isn't an issue, that's just hate. And I don't consider him my father. You shouldn't even know about that."_

Zim stared up innocently. "Uh huh."

_Dib frowned. "Let me go so I can kill you..."_

Zim snuggled closer. Purring like a pleased cat. "I dun wanna."

_He growled again. "Now."_

Zim sighed, "You ruined it." He stepped back and held his arms wide. "Go ahead. Kill me."

_Dib sighed. "Ruined what? Everything? You're being ridiculous."_

Zim flicked his head back, sending his antennae to swish back and forth. "No. You ruined my nice cuddling. Zim is angry."

_"Boohoo for you." Dib rolled his eyes. "We have more important things to be doing anyway."_

Zim sighed, "Yes. Yes we do." He turned. "Finish your work."

_Dib hugged him. "When we're out of here you can cuddle all you want, alright?"_

Zim sniffed stiffly, then gave in and hugged back. "Fine. Yes, I plan to."

_Dib smiled. "Ok back to work." He walked over to grab the tool he threw earlier and went back to the main computer._

Zim grumbled but, returned to packing everything that they would need. Then he remembered what Dib said, and a huge smile broke out on his face. "So...you're coming with me then?"

_Dib stopped and frowned. He hadn't said he was going. Then he remembered and shrugged nonchalantly like he'd never said it. "I never said that."_

Zim tapped his foot. "You said when WE're out of here; I can cuddle all I want."

_"It was to get you to stop being all depressed. Since when do you pay attention to what I say?" Dib went back to working._

Zim thought for a moment about that. "Since it meant I would get my way."

_Dib shook his head. "That's so like you." He set the tool down and started the computer up and all the Irken symbols were replaced with a generic smiley face like on his shirt._

Zim grinned. "I know." He walked over and wrapped his arms around Dib's neck to watch him work. "Your smiley face?"

_Dib tensed up since he didn't expect the contact but relaxed easily enough. "I had to pick something. And you need to re-paint your ship before I forget. Unless it's ok for that to still look Irken."_

Zim shrugged. "It can look Irken all it wants. It just can't have the power signature or it'll show up on the massive."

_"Well that's done already. Anything else I need to do?"_

Zim snickered. "Yeah." He tried to keep a straight face. "I need you to get Gir to sit still in the Voot."

_"What's so funny? He actually listens to me." Dib stuck his tongue out. "Hey Gir!"_

"Uh huh. You've never tried to make him sit still for more than five minutes. It's like giving a child twelve pounds of sugar then putting him in an arcade."

_"Gir can listen, he just needs the right type of encouragement and reward system. Just like you." Dib poked where Zim's nose should have been and grinned._

Zim pouted. "I do not. Zim needs no encourooogemnt. Or any rewards. I need no one. NOONE!"

_"Yet you want me and Gir and MiniMoose to come with you? I think we all count for something." Dib smiled and went over to Gir. "Just watch and learn."_

"I do." Zim sat back in his chair and was ready to watch a very amusing show.

_"Ok Gir. Remember the lets not wake up Zim game?" The robot nodded excitedly. "If you win the game I'll get you a giant plush pig for your collection. But you have to sit quietly in the Voot till Zim says so or you lose." Gir's eyes widened and he made a motion to zipper his mouth closed and jumped in the Voot, muffling a giggle._

Zim's mouth fell open but, he closed it quickly before anyone saw. "Well, that's all fine and dandy. But, that's just the beginning. We have quite a while until he can talk."

_"As long as you don't slip up and tell him he can then he won't. He's actually really good at this game. I taught it to him when I used to sneak into the base." Dib grinned. "So who's awesome?"_

Zim grumbled. "So that's why sometimes he would be really quiet for no reason..." He looked away and sighed. "You are better than normal, that's for sure."

_"I'll accept that." Dib put all the tools away. "Anything else that needs to be done? I need to get a pig for him now."_

Zim waved away Dib's question. "There's a big pile of them in the safe over there." He said pointing towards the other end of the lab. "There isn't much to do. Unless we get a moving tonight."

_"I'll just get one from my house. Yours are all the same." Dib shrugged. "It's your decision to leave whenever."_

Zim nodded. "Then we'll leave in four hours on the dot." He looked at Dib and grabbed his chin with his claw, stepping close into his personal bubble. "You're coming."

_Dib frowned and took a step back. Zim was really getting too comfortable with touching him now. "You can't tell me what to do."_

Zim narrowed one magenta eye. "Oh, really? I just did." He walked a small circle around the human, eyeing him. "I'll do it again too. Zim says your coming. So..." He shrugged. "You're coming."

_Dib tried to ignore him but it was like he was hunted prey or something. He held his arm out to block Zim's path so he's stop walking around. "Why do you want me to come so bad?"_

Zim grabbed Dib arm and yanked him towards him. "Because you are Zim's." It seemed like a decent answer to the Irken. It made sense and was 100% true in his mind.

_Dib stumbled forward and frowned when his personal space was again being compromised. The statement made him flush however and go quiet. In his mind he was cursing Zim out and calling him stupid but he couldn't say anything._

When Dib made no move to walk away or disagree with his statement it was sweet, sweet victory. His eyes, so fiery and aggressive, narrowed to little slits as he stared at his human. "Glad you see it my way." He whispered and stroked Dib's soft cheek. The skin was smooth except for the teeny tiny growth of facial hair. He was sure the boy wasn't aware of it yet. Zim felt very possessive, as he wrapped his fingers around Dib's arm.

_Dib's blush darkened and he had to look down to avoid Zim's gaze. "Stop that... I didn't agree to anything." He whined but that just sounded pathetic, even to him. Dib leaned away from the touch slightly. "You don't even understand what you just said."_

Zim smirked as the blood darkened the human's pale face. "Oh? I believe I said that YOU," He pointed to Dib, running his finger up the boy's chest. "Are MINE." Zim pointed to himself, smug as always. "What else could that possibly mean, Diblet?"

_Dib pushed Zim's hand away quickly. "If you don't know I'm definitely not telling you." He rubbed his chest defensively like Zim had given him cooties then he remembered about Zim's germ problem. "And you really shouldn't be touching me when I could have tons of germs all over me."_

Zim shrugged. "I've been around your germs. I've probably grown immune. Besides my lab disinfects itself every few hours...so you've been disinfected too." He stepped close, grinning widely. "You are uncomfortable when I get close to you. Why?"

_Dib put a hand on Zim's chest to keep him at least arms length apart. He was disappointed that his only excuse was a bust. "Because you never realize what you're saying...and you keep making creepy looks as if you know what it means."_

Zim narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. "What?" The boy had really gone insane, hadn't he?

_Dib sighed. "Certain phrases in Earth culture have other meanings. Understand now?"_

Zim looked at Dib blankly. "Like how?"

_Dib put a hand behind his neck. "Well..." He couldn't think of any examples other than what Zim had said and he refused to explain that, ever. "Never mind. I'm going to get the pig for Gir." He mumbled and turned to walk away._

Zim realized what Dib was doing, trying to get away from the conversation. He snorted. As if. With a quick grip he grabbed Dib's scythe lock. "You're not going anywhere." he whispered into Dib's ear.

_"S-stop that already..!" Dib whined when he realized he stuttered. Being around Zim too long must be melting his brain with stupid or something. "I can leave if I want." He grumbled._

Zim sneered, and rubbed his cheek against the back of Dib's neck. "Nuh uh." He paused. "To both parts."

_Dib went on his toes to get Zim off his neck and on his back instead. "I'm serious. You're way too touchy lately."_

Zim grinned and made it a point to poke everywhere he could reach. "Is this too touchy for you?"

_Dib pushed him away. "Obviously it is." He shook his head and sighed. "This must be what having an annoyingly possessive girlfriend would be like." It was mumbled but it was true, to him at least._

Zim growled. "I'm not a girl. Take it back." He hissed, and had his claws out ready to strike.

_Dib rolled his eyes. "Sensitive much? I said you were acting like one, not that you were one."_

Zim stood up straight. "How was I acting like one?" It was all Greek to him. "I do not wear girl clothes or prance about saying 'omg', or any of the normal female things."

_Dib laughed. "See? I told you you didn't understand what things meant. Older girls act different from what you're used to anyway. Not that you'd know since you never talk to girls."_

Zim shoved Dib, angry. "And YOU do? The only girl you talk to is Gretchen, Gaz and . And the only time it's another girl is when they yell at you and call you names."

_Dib shrugged, not really offended since it was something he'd gotten used to long ago. "I still know how they act though."_

Zim slammed himself into his chair, and pouted. "I don't act like a fucking girl."

_"Aww you can pout like one too, how cute." Dib poked his cheek._

Zim snapped his sharp teeth at him and growled in his throat. "I'll bite your finger off if you don't keep it away from me." He warned. "Maybe I'm a girl. But, your emo."

_Dib shrugged, over his fear of the teeth anyway. "That's fine with me. Why else would I wear what I do if I wasn't emo?" He teased and hugged Zim despite the warning._

Zim grumbled and tried to shove the human away. "Get off of me." But, he didn't push too hard.

_"Don't wanna." Dib nuzzled his cheek._

Zim poked the boy's forehead. "Now. Before I do something drastic that you regret."

_"You do that whether I'm doing something to you or not."_

Zim realized the human had a point but, didn't bother to agree. "I'll...tickle you." He said, gravely.

_"I'm so terrified I'm shaking." Dib rolled his eyes. "If that's the worst you can do I can definitely do better."_

Zim narrowed his eyes, and slid his gloved claws up the one place he knew Dib was ticklish. "What would you do to me, Diblet?"

_Dib blushed and pushed the hand away. "No touchy... You really need a lesson on the way you speak..." The images that popped up in his head weren't helping either but he hated losing as much as Zim did. "I could do a lot. Depends on what I'm in the mood for."_

Zim yawned, clearly bored, or at least trying to pretend he was. "Somehow, I don't think you could do anything as nearly...amazing as I could."

_"I've done some awesome stuff before." Dib pouted and bit Zim's neck._

Zim's breath hitched and he tilted his head back. "Don't do that. I'll kill you." Somehow saying that with a limp body and unfocused eyes didn't make it threatening. "Not nearly as awesome as me..." he leaned up and nibbled Dib's ear, sucking on the piercings.

_"That's an empty threat and you know it." He grinned. Dib bit his lip and held back a purring noise. He could have just moved since Zim would be too lazy to get out of his chair but didn't want to for some reason._

"Is not. I'll chop you in half and hurt you bad. Zim makes no empty threats." Total lie. The purring noise was new to him. He didn't know humans could make that noise. It must have something to do with the hearing disks. As an experiment he did it again, this time using his serrated tongue.

_"Then do it." Dib overshadowed the purring with a forced whine. "That won't cut me in half." He squirmed._

"Says you." Zim felt the purring in Dib's chest and grinned. "I didn't know human's purred." He ran his claws up the sides of Dib's body, making thin cuts in the trench coat.

_Dib subconsciously leaned into the touch. "There are plenty of things you don't know, as hard as that is for you to believe."_

Zim snorted. "I know everything." He murmured.

_"You don't know what I'm thinking." Dib looked disappointed when he stopped._

Zim looked into golden eyes. "You're disappointed." He grabbed Dib's face and leaned close their noses touching.

_"No I'm not." He grumbled and looked away._

"Look at me Diblet." Zim said, running his hands down Dib's back, wishing the coat was gone.

_Dib didn't want to but looked up at him after a few seconds anyway. He actually liked the touch, not that he'd admit it. "What?"_

"Why do I make you..." he pushed harder with his nails, hard enough to leave red welts but not hard enough to break skin. "Like this?" Zim hissed.

_Dib tried to lean away from it without much luck. "What are you talking about...?"_

Zim just leaned up and sucked on Dib's ear again, teeth clanking against the piercings. "This..."

_"I-I don't know..." He held back the purr again and whined._

"You sure? Tell me why and I'll do whatever you want."

_"I don't want you to do anything..." He mumbled._

"Fine." Zim said, nonchalantly shoving Dib off of him on to the floor. "No ear loving for you."

_Dib whined and stayed on the floor. "Still not telling you."_

Zim leaned back in his chair. "I don't care."

_"Good. Because it'd just confuse you anyway." Dib inspected his coat with a sigh, it'd take forever to fix._

"How do you know? You don't." Zim pointed out. "Give me the coat."

_"Because you don't get human emotions. I barley do." Dib sighed and took the coat off, handing it to him._

Zim snorted and took the coat and put it on. "How do I look? Liiiike a moron who doesn't share his feeeeeelings, yes?"

_Dib growled and pulled on one of Zim's antennae. "You look like someone who's going to be violently tackled."_

Zim hissed and jerked. "Don't yank on those, stoopid human! They do not want your...ickyness." The tackled part was completely ignored in favor of other things.

_"You said you were immune to my germs you liar." Dib grabbed and bit it gently._

Zim whimpered, and smacked Dib's hand. "Bad Dib. No bitey bitey."

_Dib's hand let go but he still had the antennae in his mouth and sucked on it._

Zim purred and if he would've been standing he would have fallen. Luckily he was just in his chair, so he melted and purred like crazy, mumbling incoherently. "I-I hate you..."

_Dib grinned and mumbled an, "I know." It was payback and Zim deserved it anyway. Plus he'd need to fix his jacket later._

"Stooooooooop..." Zim whined, and squirmed, claws digging into his chair.

_Dib shook his head and nibbled on it._

Zim jerked and tried to move his head away, purrs breaking past his lips. He was too limp and weak. Stupid lekku and their weakness.

_Dib smiled. "I'd like my jacket back please."_

"Ne-never." Zim hissed, gripping the fabric tight.

_"Pleaseeee?" He nuzzled Zim's lap._

Zim grumbled. "But, I like it. It's warm."

_"I need to fix it. I have more at home."_

Zim shrugged it off. "Fine. Take it. Zim doesn't want it." He turned to the computer. "Go to your home but, be back here in a half and hour."

_"Ok mother," Dib rolled his eyes and grabbed the jacket, putting it on. It was warm which made him smile before he went to the elevator._

"I am not your mother." Zim hissed, and typed more on his keyboard.

_Dib shook his head and went home. He got another backpack full of stuff which he put an extra two jackets in, a sewing kit, and some piggy's he'd made for Gir. When he got everything in there he went back to the lab quietly._

* * *

><p><em>AN: More mommy references! Funny thing was when this was written, I hadn't seen the other show. Now I'm quite addicted to Doctor Who and on season 4. Hoping to catch up in time for the new episodes. Anyway~ Zim and Dib, though very basic cartoon characters, have been shifted into a mold that me and Cupidity11 have created. Leaving them in character is hard but to mold them to be in /and/ out of character is harder in my opinion. Very worth the effort though and makes them more fun to explore. They're basically bi-polar anyway so it's not that hard to but them in mind changing situations. It's there fault for making it easy._

_Chapter titles are so hard to come up with... Hatred of titles._


	7. Prepare to be Boarded

Zim was distracted, typing alien stuff on his computer, so he didn't notice Dib enter.

_Dib took an extra jacket out of his bag and draped it over Zim. "Don't claw that one up." He sat down and took out the sewing kit to start working on fixing the one he had on._

Zim squealed and cuddled up in it, trying not to notice how it smelled like a Dib.

_Dib smiled. "That's a new sound."_

Zim's face heated and he growled, before going back to snuggling the fabric. "Doona make fun of my amazing sounds."

_"I wasn't." Dib had still been sewing and winced when he missed, pricking his finger. "Been awhile since I've done that.."_

Zim nodded. "True." He looked at Dib's finger lifted it up and sucked on the end. "Do you want Zim to do it?"

_"You actually know how?" That was surprising to say the least. "I thought the computer did most stuff for you." Dib took his finger back. "I'm fine. I wasn't paying attention is all."_

"Yes. I know how." Zim took the coat and sewed it quickly, finishing off and giving it back to Dib. "There. Admire my handy work."

_Dib held it up. "Wow. I'm impressed." He put it back on happily since that was his favorite one. It was also the one he'd fixed the most._

Zim nodded. "Good." He zipped up the trench coat and went back to typing. "Do you have all your things?"

_"All I did was get a jacket for you and a few pigs for Gir." Dib shrugged._

Zim spun in his chair, glaring. "Get more clothes and stuff. You need them unless you plan to run around naked the entire time we're in space."

_Dib frowned. "Who said I was going with you?"_

Zim rolled his eyes, "Haven't we gone over this already?"

_"I still didn't agree to anything." He murmured._

"Too BAD! You're going!" He yelled.

_Dib rolled his eyes. "You're so pushy. I'd need to go back to my house again then."_

Zim smiled. "I'll come with you." He said, evilly, grabbing Dib's hand.

_"Joy..." Dib pulled Zim along back to his house and into his room._

Zim bounced around the room; he'd been in before but never had really gotten a close look at it. He traced posters and laughed about Dib's stalking corner and jumped on his bed.

_"It really isn't that funny. By the way you're 'shrine' as you call it is in my closet." It was mostly failed inventions Zim had made or things he'd gotten from Crop Circles Magazine. He got some clothes and a few things from the closet, looking around to see if he was missing anything._

Zim jumped off the bed laughing and flung the closet doors open. "Ha! You do keep a shrine of me!"

_"No. It's all broken. I kept them to see if I could fix them to make them work again. I only got a few of them working again sadly."_

Zim frowned. "Hey...I threw these out!"

_"I had Gir bring at least half of them over." Dib shrugged._

"That horrrrrible robot..." Zim's eye twitched. He picked out a few of them, and tinkered with them waiting for Dib.

_"Don't be so hard on him. Can you think of anything else I need?"_

Zim shrugged and looked about the room. "I don't think so." He paused for a moment. "Do you want to say goodbye to your...family?"

_Dib grabbed the backpack and walked out. "What family?"_

Zim followed, closing the door. "The scary Gaz, and the professor."

_"That was sarcasm. I don't want to say anything to them."_

"Oh. Alright." Zim grabbed Dib's hand.

_"Why do you care? You hate Gaz anyway."_

"I do." Zim agreed, shuddering at the thought of the human female. "I care...about other things."

_"What other things?"_

Zim snorted. "None of your business, Dib beast."

_"It includes me so it's my business."_

Zim gave him a dry stare. "How do you know it involves you?"

_Dib shrugged. "Had a feeling."_

Zim tugged Dib along, "Well...your feeling was wrong. Now come on...we only have a few hours until...dawn."

_Dib sighed and followed lazily. "Uh huh. Whatever you say."_

Zim scoffed and tugged harder. "HURRRRRRYYYY!"

_"We have until the afternoon silly. Calm down." Dib sped up and they went down to the lab._

Zim grumbled and crossed his arms, not wanting to wait longer than he had to. "Well, we have to leave SOON."

_"Well if you're in such a hurry then start everything up." Dib crossed his arms as well and sighed._

Zim nodded and pushed buttons eagerly. "Put your things inside the Voot."

_Dib threw the stuff in the Voot, unenthused._

"Do you not WANT to come with me?" Zim barked, putting his hands on his hips, in that feminine way of his.

_Dib held back the urge to call Zim a girl since it would piss him off too much at the moment. "I already told you that they're more likely to not go after you if I stay." He mumbled. Of course he wanted to go._

"Does Zim care? Noooo..." He mocked. Then sighed, holding out his hand. "I want you to come with me. We can fight them together. We always worked better together than apart. You can explore space too. I'll take you to all the planets I know of."

_"You should care you idiot..." Dib grumbled. He stared at Zim's hand for a minute before moving his own to grab it. "The exploring part sounds promising though."_

Zim smirked evilly and tightened his grip. "Good." He looked up at Dib, and for a small moment there was calmness and warmth.

_Dib smiled slightly before hitting Zim's head lightly. "Don't let it get to your ego. If it gets any bigger it'll explode."_

Zim snorted. "My ego is perfect the way it is. Just like Zim." He smacked Dib's head a little less lightly. "Push your hair out of your face."

_Dib whined and smoothed his hair down, letting it fall more in his face on purpose. "There. That better?"_

Zim's eye twitched. "Do you want me to bring out the tape of doooom?"

_"No. You make it too easy to mess with you." Dib poked Zim's forehead._

Zim screeched like a gorilla and pouted, retreating more into Dib's trench coat. "Zim will beat you with a naked mole rat if you do not cease."

_"And if you try to hurt me I'll have to take my coat back." Dib grinned and hugged him._

Zim growled and tried halfheartedly to claw at Dib. "Never. It's mine now."

_"Or so you think. I could slip it off you now if I wanted to." Dib nuzzled his cheek._

"LIIIIIEEEESS! It's Ziiiim's!" Zim cried, not really trying to squirm away too hard.

_"No. It's mine and I'm letting you borrow it. Weren't you all fired up to leave a minute ago?"_

"Oh yeaaaaaaahh...LETS GOOOO!" Zim bounced up and down.

_"You're so weird." Dib shook his head and climbed in the Voot. He motioned for Zim to sit in his lap since there wasn't room for both of them any other way. "They should make these things for taller people." Dib commented idly._

Zim climbed up and sat dignified in his...friend's lap. "They don't need to be made for taller people. Only invaders drive these."

_"Well you've grown a bit. Don't you eventually all get taller?"_

Zim shook his head. "No. We reach a certain height and usually stay that way." He started flipping switches. "The only reason I'm taller is because of your planet's gravity."

_"But I'm still taller and it makes you mad." Dib smiled innocently, laying his head on Zim's shoulder._

Zim tried to shrug Dib off. "You may be taller but, you aren't Irken which means I don't care."

_"I can make you care." Dib bit his neck._

Zim growled. "Are you trying to start something?" He turned his head.

_"No... I'm not a fan of cramped spaces and this thing to too tiny."_

Zim sighed. "Are you claustrophobic?"

_Dib frowned. "Maybe..."_

He laughed. "I guess we'll find out." He said, before flipping the last switches and the Voot took off.

_Dib whined and buried his face in Zim's back. "You enjoy tormenting me..."_

Zim grinned. "Yes. Yes I do."

_Dib growled and pulled on an antennae. "This isn't funny."_

Zim grumbled at the antennae tugging. "Well what do you want Zim to do about it?"

_"Stop enjoying it so much. You're scared of water and germs and I'm scared of small places."_

Zim smiled. "I'm not enjoying it. I'm laughing because you always make fun of my weaknesses so," he stuck his tongue out.

_"When we land somewhere... I swear I'm going to do horrible things to you." He grumbled and poked Zim's Pak idly._

Zim shuddered. "Oh I'm so scared. Shaking in my amazing boots." He focused on driving the cruiser, and ignored the Pak poking. "Human if you want a last look at your atmosphere, now is the time."

_Dib chose to ignore the comment, for now at least. He turned and frowned as Earth got smaller and smaller. "There goes my entire life." He mumbled solemnly. "Everything I've ever known."_

"Not everything." Zim mumbled, grabbing Dib's hand. "You still have me."

_"You aren't from Earth so you don't count." Dib sighed and kept his eyes on the blue orb in the distance._

Zim frowned. "I didn't know you LURVED it so much."

_"It's just sad." Dib looked down. "I don't know how to explain it."_

Zim stared down at the controls. "It's your home." He whispered, thinking of Irk. "I understand."

_Dib stayed surprisingly quiet considering they were in space. Had they been under different circumstances he'd be asking too many questions for Zim to keep up._

Zim just let it be quiet, afraid to break the silence. He wasn't used to Dib being so...still.

_Dib didn't say anything. He watched the stars and planets pass but didn't really see them. Even Gir was getting anxious on top of all the supplies._

"Speak human. Do you want me to turn back?" He asked quietly, afraid of what the boy would say.

_Dib blinked a few times as if he were in a daze and shook his head weakly against Zim's back._

"Then what? Do you wish me to find a rest stop for you?"

_Dib shook his head again. He didn't know what he wanted or why he was so upset about it. All he knew was that his stomach hurt and he had to think too much to breathe normally._

Zim growled. "J-Just tell me what you need, damn it."

_Dib had an 'I'd tell you if I knew' sort of expression but knew Zim probably wouldn't see it anyway._

"Whatever. We need to get as far away from here as possible."

_Dib frowned. "I...have a bad feeling.."_

Zim sighed. "Humans and your superstitions. Nothing is going to happen."

_Dib's grip on Zim tightened. "Yeah...just superstition..."_

For hours they flew, trying to get as far away from the planet called earth. Little did they know it wasn't far enough. Red stared at the poorly disguised Irken Voot cruiser. "Do they really think we're that dumb?"

_Purple shrugged. "Obviously. Gotta give them credit though, it's not showing up as Irken. Must have been the human."_

Red snorted. "Obviously. Zim wouldn't be able to do it."

_"Think we should leave them alone for awhile to give them false hope?"_

Red tapped his claw against the chair. "Well...do you want to play with your new toy, now or later?"

_"Good question." Purple thought about it while floating around._

Red sighed and watched the dot slowly flying away. The human would be there's. Zim was just an added bonus.

_"I can be patient for a little bit." Purple sat in Red's lap. "Did you want to go now?"_

Red silently stroked his partner's antennae, thinking. "Let's follow them at a far distance. For now...let's wait."

_Purple sunk into the chair contently. "Whatever you want is fine."_

Red smiled and pulled Pur closer. "I love it when you're like this."

_Purple let himself be moved before cuddling to get comfortable. "Like what?"_

"All...you." Red sighed. He hated that he sounded whipped and pitiful. But, around Purple he couldn't help himself.

_"You're so weird Red." Purple commented and wrapped his arms around the Tallest's waist._

"I know. You are too." Red sighed contently and enjoyed being in his lover's arms. But, then his eyes drifted towards the screen again.

_Purple whined and stroked an antennae to get his attention. "Ignore them for awhile. They aren't getting away."_

Red tried to relax. "I know." He turned his eyes to Purple and smiled mischievously. "Want to go...eat some snacks?"

_Purple grinned. "Sounds good to me. But only if you're willing to carry me."_

Red smiled, lifting his co tallest up bridal style. "Does that answer your question?"

_Purple nodded. "Onward to the snacks." He pointed with a laugh._

Floating away they laughed, not seeming evil in that moment at all.

_Back in the Voot Dib was still quiet and Gir was having screaming withdrawal._

Zim's antennae kept twitching from the stress and tension in the Voot.

_Dib noticed the twitching and frowned. He didn't mean to make the trip so miserable._

The asteroids weren't as bad this time of the year he noted, realizing that soon he could remove the manual and just focus on auto pilot.

_The odd silence and all the stress was making Dib tired and he yawned quietly._

"Go to sleep." Zim whispered, but it sounded loud.

_He shook his head, the bad feeling still in the back of his mind._

"Why? You yawned." Zim complained.

_"I'm fine." He mumbled._

Zim bit his tongue. "Whatever." He hated when the human was like this. So quiet and easy going. It was stoopid.

_Dib pet an antennae. "You're mad."_

Zim purred quietly then it slowly got louder. "I can't be when you do that. Zim...hates that."

_"You hate a lot of things." Dib smiled slightly._

Zim nodded, lost in the sensations. "That is true."

_Dib grabbed the other one too. "You don't hate me though, right?"_

Zim whined, squirming. "N-no. Not anymore."

_"That's good. Why are you whining?"_

Zim let out another small whine, trying to push Dib's hand away from his antennae. "Because you keep playing with my antennae."

_Dib sighed and let go. "Fine." He leaned back in the chair and went back to staring blankly out at the stars._

Zim pouted. "I didn't say I didn't like it. Their just sensitive." He grumbled, and crossed his arms.

_"Uh huh. Do you even know where we're going?"_

Zim grinned. "Not at all. Somewhere far from here."

_"Watch, we're going to get lost and you won't ask for directions. Then we'll end up on some planet made of fire or something."_

Zim waved away the concerns. "Nonsense. I have wonderful, directional skills. We'll be just fine." 9 hours later... "GRRR! I hate this universe! I hate that star and that star and that one too! You are undeserving of ZIIIIM!" He yelled pointing at several stars.

_Dib groaned. "You've been screaming for hours! I told you you'd get lost!" He smacked the side of Zim's head. "Moron... Ask directions before we run out of fuel and end up on some HORRIBLE planet."_

Zim slashed his claws at Dib's offending hand, much like a cat with yarn, and turned up his nose, (if he had a nose) at the idea. "NEVAH! I AM ZIM! I don't need help. I will get us out of this without any help!"

_Dib tilted his head. "How dense can you be? WE'RE LOST AND DOOMED! So ask for directions before I do horrible things."_

Zim smacked Dib's arm and sniffed. "Zim is not dense! I am very UN dense! What do you mean...horrible things?" He grinned seductively.

_"Lies..." Dib mumbled. "If I told you it wouldn't be as horrible. Just ask for directions already." He pulled Zim's cheek to distort his face._

Zim yanked Dib's hand away from his face and frowned. "WHO? Who the hell do I ask in the middle of the universe with NO ONE around?" Zim growled and yanked Dib's hair scythe back. Red tapped his fingers impatiently against Pur's armor. "Has it been long enough you think?"

_Dib winced. "Hey! Be gentle with it... And I don't know... There were a bunch of people back about an hour ago. Turn around." Purple grinned. "And you thought I was impatient. You can get them if you want."_

Zim frowned and gnashed his zipper like teeth, really, really, really not wanting to turn around. Red nodded, ignoring the comment. With the press of a button, the Massive locked onto the ship's core and began the beaming process. It would take less than a few minutes. Zim felt the gravity in the ship get lighter and the Voot began beeping at him incessantly, sounding the alarm.

_"You and your stupid pride. It will be worth it when we're not lost." Purple munched on a donut. "So what should we tell them when they get here?" Dib looked down at the controls and frowned. "What does beaming alert mean...?"_

Zim began hyperventilating and frantically pushing buttons. "SHIIIIT!" He yelled, eyes panicked. He looked back at Dib. "I'm sorry, Dib." Red stroked an antennae. "I don't know. You are the one who wanted to have a new toy to play with. As long as you share every now and then, I could care less." He shrugged. "Besides I'll be spending a large amount of time torturing our favorite little pest."

_Dib frowned, extremely worried. "Don't tell me that... We can fix whatever happened..right?"_

_Purple purred. "Alright. We'll share but make sure you still have time for your favorite me." He laughed._

Zim stared down at the controls which were useless now. He looked back up at Dib and smiled wryly. "No. They have a lock on us. Their beaming us to the Massive." Red smirked and kissed his partner. "Always."

_"Why couldn't you have lied..." Dib growled. "Now we're going to be even worse off because you think you can't lose!" Purple smiled and kissed back. "Great. This is going to be fun."_

"What?" Zim snapped, trying to find some way anyway to remove the annoying lock.

_"If I stayed you might have gotten away, but noooooooo you're too good for that and have to win with your Zim-ness of awesome something!" Dib whined. "Great, I'm catching your stupid before I die!"_

Zim shoved him. "Shut up! I should've just left you there alone? Of course I wouldn't. If you hadn't agreed I would've just knocked you out and took you anyway." He groaned as the ship began to disappear. "It isn't your fault. The universe doesn't revolve around you. AND I'M NOT STUPID YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF SPACE!"

_Dib leaned his head against Zim's back. "Everything was hopeless. We're doomed and it's all my fault... You're always wrong and this isn't any different. If I hadn't called them then none of this would be happening. Sorry.."_

Zim hissed and grabbed Dib's chin, looking deep into the dark, golden depths. "It's my fault. It's your fault. Who cares? We're doomed either way." Zim whispered, and nuzzled Dib's nose in the place where he had none. It was as close to a comforting embrace that most Irkens got to.

_Dib frowned and looked away. "The fact that you're being nice just makes this worse. What can we even do? I'm not just getting taken to their stupid ship and saying 'Here I am to torture, have fun'. Isn't there something..?"_

Zim grinned, and stroked Dib's cheek. "Of course there is. Of course.." He thought for a moment and twisted digging into a box. He pulled out a tube carefully with an evil grin. "I need you to go along with what I do alright?" He asked, thinking hard.

_Dib leaned on him heavily and watched what Zim was doing. "What are you planning on doing?" He frowned and tried to identify the tube but in his state of mind he couldn't remember what it was._

Zim laughed manically, and turned to Dib kissing him on his nose. "Disintegrating the Massive from the inside out." He whispered, alarm in the background. With a final beep the Voot disappeared and reformed in the Massive.

_Dib wasn't encouraged at all but a psycho with a plan was better than no plan. "I'll try to follow your lead." He mumbled quietly and hugged Zim tightly then the Voot disappeared. "What about Gir..?"_

Zim frowned, having forgotten about the robot. He shrugged. "He'll be fine. He's Gir." With a thump they hit the floor of the Massive control room, and Zim felt a shiver of fear, happiness and insanity rush through him. He looked at Dib and smiled. "Good luck." He said, before kissing him on the mouth softly.

_Dib whimpered, not even blushing. "You better know what you're doing..." He looked around the Massive worriedly; it looked a lot bigger in person. Dib was just glad that the Tallest weren't in view yet._

Zim waved away Dib's concerns. "Of course I do. I am Zim after all." With the press of a button the door to the cruiser opened and he jumped out, chin raised. The crew gasped and turned away from the destructive Irken, afraid they would be punished. Red grinned and his throne floated to the highest part of the Massive. "Zim. Dib. What a nice surprise." He grinned toothily.

_"That isn't encouraging..." Dib whined. He watched Zim get out of the Voot and sighed. Zim's plan could work so he'd try his best to go along with whatever the Irken was planning. He got out of the cruiser as well and stood next to Zim trying not to look nervous, which was hard. Purple was behind the boys and ran a claw down Dib's cheek, causing him to yelp. "We missed you." He mirrored Red's grin._

Red smirked. "Did we ever." Zim sniffed indignantly, and stood tall, as tall as he could. He had grown quite a bit since leaving Conventia however and would probably reach the Tallest's shoulder plate. This irked Red, but he ignored it. "And Zim...you're still alive. Been awhile since we talked, I just assumed you'd died. But, then again it's impossible for you to die isn't it?" Zim growled when he saw Tallest Purple run a claw over Dib's soft face. No way. Dib belonged to HIM. Zim grabbed Dib's belt loop and yanked him away from the Purple menace.

_Dib yelped again and practically fell on top of Zim. He pulled himself up weakly and stayed close to the alien. Purple growled. "You're on our ship Zim. This isn't that dirt ball you call home so don't act so high and mighty." He made a grab for Dib who hid behind Zim with a "G-go away..." added for effect. "No way. You're my new play thing. Don't worry, I'll be gentle." He grinned._

Zim growled; claws out. "You touch him, I'll tear your squeedly spooch out your ass." He bit out. Red hissed and floated forward. "And you talk to your Ruler like that again I'll make you eat yours." Zim didn't show that he was afraid, hiding the fear inside him so Dib wouldn't suspect they wouldn't get out of here. And because he had too much pride. Earth did that to you.

_Dib pulled on Zim's shirt lightly, he was going to piss them off. "Can't we all just get along and eat waffles...?" He smiled weakly. Purple laughed. "We'll be getting along fine. Just not in a way you think." He ran a claw down Dib's cheek again just to piss Zim off. "You and I will have a very special relationship." Dib shivered lightly._

Zim turned and snapped his teeth at the arm. "Stop fucking touching him!" He screeched and hissed back raised like a cat's. Red shoved Zim with so much force he was sent flying across the room and he hit one of the control panels, before falling to the ground unconscious. "Stupid boy." Red shook his head.

_Dib took a step back nervously. His legs were numb and it was difficult to not just collapse on the floor. Sure he was doomed and scared but for some reason he still walked past Red to get to Zim. Dib bent down and held Zim in his arms lightly, relieved to see no blood._

Red snorted as he watched the human child check on Zim. "How sweet. Your toy is in love with our enemy." Zim didn't move, as Dib checked on him, completely out. If he was awake he would be screaming and scratching wildly.

_Dib frowned. "So what? You just wanted him gone in the first place so let him go." His grip tightened. "If you even try to hurt him again I'll kill you." Dib glared. His subconscious was telling him he was doomed and caught a horrible case of the stupid but at least he wasn't terrified at the moment._

The Tallest sighed and floated to his throne. "No. I have special plans to torture, maim and kill him so unfortunately he won't be leaving. But, after he's dead I'll dump his body out in space." He cooed. "How's that, human?"

_Dib growled. "Don't even think about it. You're stupid, short, and a horrible leader. The entire Irken race is a joke!"_

Red's eyes narrowed. He could deal with the stupid and the horrible leader thing but the shortness was going too far. "Grab him, and Zim. Throw them in separate cells." Red ordered to the guards.

_The guards seemed conflicted. Red was scary but Zim was the defective from hell. And they didn't even know what Dib was. Everyone shuffled away and mumbled things about having other stuff to do. Dib grinned. "You can't even do anything without your mindless drones."_

Red sighed. "Fine. I'll just execute the rest later." He floated over and using his Pak legs ripped Zim from Dib's arms, with a grin. "Purple. Restrain your toy."

_Dib tried pulling Zim back but it was no use against a Pak. He glared and his hand grabbed a wire from the broken equipment. "Try and see what happens shorty." Purple growled and his Pak legs came out as well, reaching for Dib. When the legs were in range Dib pulled the live wire out and onto a Pak appendage. Purple yelped as he got shocked and fell back._

Red's fury was palpable. He tossed Zim to the ground and since his Pak legs were already out, opened a laser canon and prepared to shoot the human in the leg.

_Dib's eyes widened and he tried to scoot away from the laser but it followed him. He didn't even look at Zim since he was a little pre-occupied at the moment. Dib's hand ran over a broken piece of metal and held it in front of him. If he couldn't avoid the blast then maybe the metal would reflect it..? At least he hoped it would._

Zim's head hurt like a bitch, but there was no time to complain. He squinted his eyes open and watched the Dib-Human dance around; trying to avoid what would surely be a painful wound. Zim had no weapon; no way to help...his Pak was damaged from hitting the wall. The only thing left to do was...Zim sighed and with a war cry bit as hard into Red's leg as he could. The sweet taste of Irken blood filled his mouth. Red cursed and his sudden movements set the lasers off.

_Dib stood motionless for a few seconds stupidly. The scene in front of him was like a car wreck and he couldn't not look. When he snapped out of it he tackled Red in a way that he wouldn't fall on Zim. He took the piece of metal and jabbed it into Red's Pak. He didn't aim for anything too vital but tried to hit the spot he thought had to do with movement._

Red spasmed and went still. Zim sat up and spit the blue blood from his mouth, wiping it on his arm. "Are you okay?" He asked.

_Dib's eyes widened. "D-did I kill him...?" He dropped the metal and the sound of it hitting the floor rung in his ears._

* * *

><p><em>AN: They're on the Massive now, yay. Also yay for the lame title. I think they're getting progressively worse... Is Dib a murderer? Only one way to find out._


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